The Invisible Woman.
What do all of these women have in common?
Well, they all can be strong and fierce in character. They’re all capable of having bold convictions and standing firmly behind their decisions. Really, the comparisons could go on and on.
There’s really only one difference: Fictional superheroines are esteemed because they stand on their own and lead their lives independent of men.
God never intended Christian wives to do the same. The trouble is that our culture, for the most part, no longer recognizes biblical gender roles. Specific functions within a marriage are seen as archaic beliefs from an outdated, patriarchal society.
Take a step back, however, and you’ll find Scripture is as relevant as ever. It’s also clear: God has assigned specific roles to men and women, husbands and wives. Men are to lead their families. Couples are to love and honor each other. The list goes on.
Because the culture isjettisoning thattradition, men are stepping out of their roles, and wives are stepping into the void left behind, saying, “I’m strong. I can lead my family through life myself.”
It’s important that a woman’s strengths be celebrated, but how do Christian wives balance their God-given strengths with their roles as detailed in the Bible? It starts with understanding what it means for women to harness their strength.
They’ll live lives that are beautifully fierce, or they’ll live lives that are destructively fierce.
A beautifully fiercewoman is submitted to the influence and direction of the Holy Spirit. A destructively fierce woman is self-focused, self-centered, and living for her own benefit, rather than God’s glory.
The difference between those two perspectives is often the difference between a healthy marriage and one that self-destructs.
Kimberly Wagner had a lot to learn about directing her strength toward positive outcomes for her marriage. In the beginning, every argument was one to win. After all, why would you adopt an opinion and not fight to win an argument unless it was the right opinion to have?
Leroy, her husband and a pastor, realized early on in their engagement that he was outgunned. Kimberly was such a strong personality that she overwhelmed him with her ability to argue and articulate her position. The sheer force of her strength caused him to shut down.
It nearly ended their marriage, but God led them on a healing journey that exposed their expectations, their faults, and their need for change.
You can hear their encouraging story on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Harnessing Your Strength to Transform Your Marriage.”You’ll discover that the heart of the matter is the need for Christ-like humility in a marriage. One of the greatest foundational building blocks for a relationship is the ability to speak to one another in honesty and truth, but with grace and humility.
Unfortunately, serving in the pastorate only intensified the Wagners’ conflict. That’s why today’s conversation brings to my mindother pastors and their wives, the immense pressure they’re under, and the way it impacts their marriages.
If you’re a pastor listening to our program, and you’re thinking, “The Wagners’ story is where I’m living today,” please call us and let us help you work through what’s happening.
Couples like the Wagners are the reason for Focus on the Family’s Hope Restored marriage intensives: to provide couples with the wisdom and healing they need to rescue their marriage.
So if you’re feeling hopeless and are contemplating divorce – even if you’ve already filed the paperwork – I encourage you to reconsider your options. With guidance from our team of experts, God can intervene and transform your marriage in ways that may seem impossible to you right now.
The number for Hope Restored is 1-866-875-2915, or visit online.
I often talk about it, but as Christians our witness in our marriages is either going to do harm in the culture or do tremendous good in the culture in the name of Jesus.