Jim Daly

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He Meant Well

Picture this. You’re nine years old, and your mother just died. Your step-dad has abandoned you, so you’ve been taken to live with a family you’ve never met. You’re desperately hoping the man of the house will become the father you never had, but he’s, well, eccentric. Which is why his first assignment for you when you move into the family home is, “You gotta cut the head off a chicken.”

That bizarre scenario actually happened. To me! For kids raised on a farm, killing a chicken may not be a big deal. But for a city boy from Los Angeles, it was traumatic! My foster father wouldn’t take no for an answer, either.

“It’ll make a man out of you,” he insisted.

So, I bit my lip and did the deed because I was terrified of angering the newest authority figure in my life. But even at nine years old I knew that my new start in life was headed for trouble. My foster father meant well, but he didn’t realize how his call for me to “man up” would affect a kid like me.

Sadly, many fathers make a similar mistake. They think their abrasive tone and rigid demands are the right motivation for every child. But they’re not. Some kids are wired for tough love; others need an extra measure of sensitivity.

Effective parenting isn’t “one size fits all.” Instead, it takes into consideration the personality, temperament, and needs of the child.

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Topics: Family and Home Tags: family October 26, 2022 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

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Comments

  1. Jamie Forbes says

    October 26, 2022 at 7:54 pm

    – Hello Jim. My name is Jamie.
    I am currently watching “ Show Me The Father “ on Netflix and your part you shared about your alcoholic father really hit home with me as I too was partially raised by an alcoholic father and can really identify with what you said. I am new to listening to Focus on the Family and I really enjoy and appreciate the show. Thank you, Jamie

    Reply

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Jim-Daly President of Focus on the Family
Jim Daly
with Paul Batura

Posts by Jim

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Unhappy couple

Misunderstanding in Marriage

My Passion for the Harvest

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Daly Focus

Jim-Daly Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.

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