How to spiritually connect with your spouse may be one of the most misunderstood concepts in marriage.
Couples tend to think in terms of spiritual activities they ought to do together.
We know we should read our Bibles, pray and go to church together and memorize Scripture.
Without question, there are important spiritual disciplines, and they fit the personality of some couples especially well. These are men and women who are so structured they treat devotions almost like mini-church. They gather together each night, read verses from the Bible and share their thoughts, and close in prayer for one another.
It’s a beautiful image, but – let’s face it – it’s not reality for most of us.
At least, not very often.
Our days are often fast-paced, and we tend to connect on the move. Discussion happens while we’re getting the kids to school or to Little League practice. Or maybe it’s not until dinner time that evening that we’re settled enough to have meaningful conversation.
In either case, the focus for most couples ends up on what they’re doing and misses the larger point.
We’re human beings, not human doings.
That’s not merely semantics.
Spiritual intimacy with our spouse really is about who we are together, not simply what we do.
A thriving spiritual connection means we understand that Christ is the cornerstone of our marriage. Ephesians 2:20 describes Jesus as the cornerstone of our faith. If our faith is central to our lives, then He is the cornerstone of the foundation of our marriage as well.
That understanding allows us to connect all of our being – our heart, our soul, and our mind – with our spouse as we pursue God together. It’s offering one another the deepest parts of who we are.
At this point, you may be thinking: “Sounds great, Jim. But it’s easier said than done.”
No doubt that’s true for many of us. With kids and work and bills and tasks around the house to get done, finding time to form meaningful spiritual bonds with our spouse is no easy task.
Authors and marriage experts Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley agree. The endeavor can be a profound struggle. “It’s not a linear, straight line pursuit,” they say. “It’s a journey that’s messy – a few steps forward, a few steps backward.”
But they are also quick to say it’s an effort that’s worth it: “Marriages that lack spiritual connection almost always create pain and loneliness.”
So what’s the answer?
Well, that’s the crux of our discussion on tomorrow’s program, “Connecting Spiritually with Your Spouse.” Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley join us in the studio to offer couples tools to build spiritual intimacy into their relationship.