Jim Daly

Daly Focus Blog

FOTF logo
  • Home
  • Family & Home
  • Current Events
  • Focus News
  • About

If You’re Angry or Irritated

It’s challenging to tell someone you love that you’re angry with them. Even with the best of intentions, hurt feelings come easily.
Our counselors here at Focus regularly help with questions of this nature. A recent article in the Wall Street Journal dealt with this very issue, and so I asked them to review the author’s suggestions. They affirmed much of what was written, but offered a few other thoughts. I’d like to share their response with you now:

anger1.jpg

  1. Slow Down. Don’t feel like you need to immediately settle the problem. Take time to pray and ask God’s help and wisdom to see the other person’s point of view. Ask Him to give you the right words and tone.
  2. Acknowledge the Challenge. Your intent is to defuse or decrease the defensiveness that usually comes with a tough topic.This can be done by being intellectually honest and expressing your burden to the other person.
  3. Say “I”, not “You.” This advice was offered in the Journal article and our counselors strongly agreed. “Don’t say, “You did _____ wrong.” Say, “I felt hurt when you did _____.”
  4. Really Listen. Given the emotion, it’s easy to be consumed by your own thoughts as opposed to the other person’s perspective, whether it’s valid or not. As they elaborate you might say, “I’d like to understand. Please tell me more.”
  5. Set a Timer. When the time is up, agree to take a break, ponder and pray. Agree on a time to meet again. (“Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” Ephesians 4:26)

 

That’s some good advice, I think, and I’d welcome your thoughts on the topic.

Sign up for the weekly e-newsletter

Topics: Family and Home Tags: faith, family May 13, 2011 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

Related Posts

  • Dog Days of Marriage
  • How the Christian Worldview Inspires Uncommon Hope for Believers
  • Kids and technologyReconnect in Real Life: Tips to Reduce Screen Time

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Jim-Daly President of Focus on the Family
Jim Daly
with Paul Batura

Listen to Jim’s
New Podcast

ReFocus with Jim Daly

Newsletter Sign Up

Posts by Jim

Building a Bridge to Forgiveness

How to Talk to Your Kids About Pornography

The Power of Words

Topics

  • Current Events
  • Family and Home
  • Focus Events
  • Uncategorized

Daly Focus

Jim-Daly Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.

Jim Daly Blog

Home
About
Posting Guidelines
Terms & Conditions
Privacy Policy
FAQs

© 2025 Focus on the Family

Connect with Me

Facebook
X
YouTube