“I didn’t believe in God anymore. I felt like people were offering me a broken chair to sit in.”
That devastating lie, and others, were sown deep in Lacey Sturm’s heart early in life, and it nearly drove her to commit suicide.
She was 10 years old when her 3-year-old cousin was beaten to death by his stepdad. Any assurance that God noticed Lacey or cared about her at all died that day, too.
“Where is God?” she wondered. If He was truly good, shouldn’t He have cared for her family and protected them? She felt as abandoned by her heavenly Father as she did her earthly one, and he had been out of the picture since she was a toddler.
Lacey was so disillusioned and bitter with God that she’d get angry if anyone even spoke of Him. She cried herself to sleep every night and denied herself the right to even feel happy. She reasoned, how can anyone feel happiness in a world where children are beaten to death?
Heartache and disbelief fueled her anger and blinded her to the love of family and friends. Loving boundaries felt like rejection to her. The word “no” didn’t mean, “We love you.” It meant, “We’d be better off without you.”
She believed she was a burden, not a blessing.
After a particularly hard day at school, Lacey headed for home determined that she would be dead by morning.
But God intervened in her life in a miraculous encounter. A chance run-in with her grandmother resulted in a shouting match between them. When it was all said and done, grandma insisted that Lacey go to church, and Lacey only grudgingly agreed.
That night, Lacey’s grandmother drove her to a random church and dropped her off at the door. Lacey didn’t know anyone there, but she hated them all, especially the pastor and the God he served. By the time the evening was over she discovered that, even though she had turned away from God, God had never turned away from her.
Jesus had noticed and cared for her all along.
Lacey’s journey to new life has been amazing. I’d love for you to hear it. For a second day, she’s with us on our radio program, sharing her story.
Some of you will recognize Lacey as the former lead singer for the alternative rock band Flyleaf and now as a solo artist. If you’re not familiar with Lacey’s career, then you’ll want to join us to hear her remarkable story and to appreciate how she brings her passion for hard-edged music and her love for Jesus Christ together in some very unique situations.
You may even be scratching your head, thinking, “How can rock music and the Gospel coexist?” Listen to Lacey’s story – and her heart – and I think you’ll understand.