Daly Focus Blog
Over the years, loving my wife has most often expressed itself in small ways. Like when our boys were young and full of energy. Some nights I’d come home after a long, busy day at work, and Jean would meet me at the door with Trent and Troy – 5 and 3 years old at the time – and say, “Take them.”
Jean and I were both desperate for a recharge after a long day, but in that moment, there was only room for one of us to take a breather.
It’s been over 50 years since my mom died. All I have are a handful of photographs. I don’t have audio recordings or home movies of her, unfortunately, so I don’t remember the sound of her voice anymore. But I do recall many of the things mom said to me – things that positively influenced my direction through life and shaped the man I’ve become. I’d like to share a few of them with you.
First she’d tell me, “It’ll be okay.” Life wasn’t easy for my mom, but somehow she always saw the glass as half-full.
You’d think I’d have marriage down pat by now. My wife, Jean, and I have been married almost 40 years. I’ve also spent the majority of my career leading an organization that helps families thrive. Nevertheless, while I believe I’m becoming all that God desires of me, I’ll always be an imperfect work in progress.
But I guess that’s true of all of us. Whether you’ve been married as long as me or you’re a newlywed, all of us can take small steps and grow as a husbands and wives.
The empty nest years can be a “tight ring season.”
That’s a term coined by Marci Seither and her husband after a customer hired the Seithers’ sawmill in Northern California to remove a huge tree from the spot where their new home would be built. Feeling it a shame to lose such a beautiful tree, the homeowners planned to recycle the lumber by using it in the house’s construction.
But once they cut down the tree, they discovered the wood was too weak to use.
Do you like to buy gifts for your children? I sure do for my two boys. I enjoy seeing the look on their face when they get an unexpected present about as much as they enjoy opening it. But here’s the tricky part. We parents can overdo gift giving. From bikes to smartphones to cars, some of us give our kids everything. We all love to see our children happy, of course, but a little struggle can be good for them.
Bob and Audrey wanted to change the world. They got married and hit the ground running. Within a few years, they had three kids. They worked at the local and the national level to strengthen families. They were well known in the community. And they were busy. Really busy. Not only did they not see that as a problem, they saw it as a mindset. Every moment was an important opportunity to reach somebody that needed help.
Everyone is chasing significance of some kind:
Achievement.
Recognition.
Wealth.
Power.
Popularity.
Success.
But when “the chase” takes center stage, the busyness and focus required can leave us with no energy to offer our most important relationships.
How can we prioritize our marriage and family in light of all the responsibilities that demand our attention each day?
Authors Josh and Christi Straub are answering that question on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. They believe couples can transform their relationship by becoming the president of their spouse’s “fan club.” That means focusing on what matters, championing their strengths, and encouraging them to become the best version of themselves – that is, who God designed them to be.
Many parents feel anxious about the growing number of negative cultural influences that reduce the possibility that this generation will base their lives in the Christian faith. According to statistics, 45-48% of children today leave church after college and never return. Many disconnect from their faith even earlier.
This poses a significant challenge for parents. While it’s wise to monitor your children’s exposure to music, videos, and social media, they also need to learn discernment. Most situations are a mixture of good and bad.
Author Melanie Shankle says each of us has dragons to face. She means life is a journey in which we continually encounter difficult situations, learn to trust God, and by His grace grow through adversity.
Sometimes the dragons we have to slay are those that rise up from our past via an unhealthy, even toxic, childhood. If this describes, you, Melanie shares your pain. Like you she grew up in a household shaped by abuse, manipulation, or alcoholism.
The late Steve Farrar believed Psalm 23 was the most dangerous Psalm in the Bible – dangerous because we know it so well that it loses its deep meaning and significance. The Psalm is only six verses long, but each one is potent and pregnant with meaning.
David, who wrote Psalm 23, could have written from the perspective of the shepherd. Instead, he wrote it from the perspective of the sheep. God’s people are called “sheep” over 200 times in the Bible.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
