“My coach from my senior year could look at me and knight me with his eyes.”
That powerful comment illustrates the hunger of every boy to have a man, particularly a father, draw him into manhood. It comes from Dr. Robert Lewis, who has been associated with Focus on the Family for years. Back in the late 90s, he wrote a book with Focus called Raising a Modern-Day Knight.
It’s been one of our best sellers ever since. And with good reason. Raising boys to authentic manhood is more difficult than ever. Boys today are raised in what Dr. Lewis calls “dark manhood” – a spin on the idea of “dark matter,” the presence of matter throughout the universe that can be measured but not seen. “Dark manhood” describes a man who reaches the chronological age of manhood yet is still mostly boy inside.
Many boys aren’t raised to be well-rounded men. The activities we guide our boys toward often develop their exterior skills while overlooking their interior skills. Things like:
- Character.
- Godliness.
- How to act with and toward women.
- Discovering their identity.
- Discovering God’s identity.
- Answering the question, “What does it mean to be a man?”
- Answering the questions, “What are my responsibilities as a teenager? As a young man? As a successful, well-rounded adult?”
Many dads don’t know how to answer those questions and others for their sons. Dr. Lewis is helping fathers with that on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Raising Sons to Be Honorable Men.” We’re discussing his classic book and taking a fresh look at how fathers can shine God’s light on their boys’ “dark manhood.”
Dr. Robert Lewis is the founder of Men’s Fraternity, which is an organization teaching men of all ages how to live a life of authentic biblical manhood.
Listen to our full conversation on your local radio station, online, on Apple Podcasts, via Google Podcasts, or take us with you on our free phone app.
I’d like to extend an invitation for you to become a special partner with us through our monthly “Friends of Focus on the Family” program. When you do, I’ll send you a copy of Dr. Lewis’ book Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father’s Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood as a way of saying thank you for touching others with the love of Christ. You’ll also receive member-exclusive benefits. To make your pledge, or for more information, visit our website or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).
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Janny Chow says
-This book was introduced to us by our Boys Scout Master when our son was in the troop. I read it in one sitting. It’s a guide book for parents, especially with the only child. Anyway, I would like to ask a very person question and would prefer direct email from whenever that could continue to guide me along. I would appreciate it very much to hearing from you. Thank you and God bless!
Janny
AnnFOTF says
-Hi Janny – It’s great to hear the book was so helpful to you, and we’d love to assist you further in your parenting journey. Although we’re limited in our ability to provide counsel via email, you are welcome to write to us at [email protected]. Otherwise, we have counselors who are available by phone to offer encouragement and assistance. Just call 800-A-FAMILY (800-232-6459) to arrange a free, confidential consultation. God’s blessings to you and your son.
Ashley Engelbrecht says
-Good day
I am a single dad to a 17 year old boy, who has been with me since he was 10. I am in South Africa and do receive your emails. How would I go about obtaining, this book. Can it be downloaded, as l use my tablet for reading. Thank you
God bless
Ashley
Jess1FOTF says
-Thank you for reaching out, Ashley. We greatly appreciate your interest in our ministry! It’s wonderful to hear that you are raising your son, and we know you have a great responsibility while doing this on your own. We are glad to let you know that the paperback book Raising a Modern Day Knight is available through our associated office of Focus on the Family South Africa. Please check out their online store at safamily.co.za/shop. Should you need assistance through our South Africa office, please feel free to contact them by phone at +27 31-716-3300 or by email at [email protected]. The book is available through our US online store in Digital Download (epub) format at store.focusonthefamily.com, search for Raising a Modern-Day Knight, and click on the one that has digital in the title. We do not believe that the Focus South Africa online store has the digital download option. We hope this helps. Blessings to you and your son!
Diane Cohen says
-What about single mothers trying to raise a boy into knightly manhood? I am trying to raise a godly son as a divorced woman. Would you recommend the book to me, as well?
Jess1FOTF says
-Great question, Diane. We responded to another single mom with the answer that this book is written with a father and son relationship in mind; however, you may find many aspects of this book helpful. We would also like to recommend a book called Mother and Son by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Please feel free to see the Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect Video Series here https://bit.ly/3jozhwI. You may want to check out the book by Rhonda Stoppe called Moms Raising Sons to Be Men. We have a broadcast with her that can be found on our website or app called “Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence” https://bit.ly/3E6Baps. Another great broadcast episode is called “Raising Boys to be Godly Young Men” https://bit.ly/3B3XoXl with Dr. Meg Meeker as they talk about the book called Strong Mothers, Strong Sons (book is currently out of stock through Focus).
Lelan Jorgensen says
-Can this be scaled for single moms?
Jess1FOTF says
-We are glad to know that of your interest in this book. Lelan. Although this book is written with a father and son relationship in mind, you may still find beneficial advice through this book. We would also like to recommend a book called Mother and Son by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Feel free to check out the Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect Video Series here https://bit.ly/3jozhwI. Also, you may benefit from the book by Rhonda Stoppe called Moms Raising Sons to Be Men. We have a broadcast with her that can be found on our website or app called “Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence” https://bit.ly/3E6Baps. Another great broadcast episode is called “Raising Boys to be Godly Young Men” https://bit.ly/3B3XoXl with Dr. Meg Meeker as they talk about the book called Strong Mothers, Strong Sons (book is not available through Focus).
Robert Newby says
-I would like to purchase the book Raising a modern a Knight. It sounds like a great inspirational book to read and learn from it. I gave a one time donation of $100.00, but I don’t see where I can get the book. Can you let me know?
Thanks
Jess1FOTF says
-Thank you for reaching out, Robert. We would be happy to help you with this. An email was sent to you in response to your inquiry. Once we hear back from you via email, we will be able to send the book to you. Blessings!