It’s estimated that 80% of women are lonely in their marriages.
Many wives who struggle with loneliness believe it is impossible to change their marriages. Their relationships are plagued by disappointment, anger, or monotony. Why? The answer often lies in unmet expectations.
When we’re dating, it’s tempting to seek complete fulfillment from the person we love. But once we’re married, we find that our spouse simply isn’t able to fulfill our every need. This can lead to a host of issues.
Erin Smalley understands the struggle of women who have had their expectations shattered. Early on in their marriage, she and her husband, Greg, fought frequently. Growing up without a positive male role model for marriage, Erin expected Greg to satisfy her needs perfectly. It was a no-win situation for both of them.
If your marriage is stuck in a cycle of disappointment, then don’t ask “How can my marriage be better?” It takes two people to have a great marriage, and you cannot make your spouse improve your marriage with you.
Instead, ask “How can I be a better spouse?” Consider how you can improve yourself first, so that your marriage will benefit. In the same way that each stroke in ping pong can change the course of the game, even a small change in the way you handle your marriage can have lasting effects.
So, what can you do to chart a better course for your marriage? The answer can be found in Ephesians 6, which encourages us to serve the Lord wholeheartedly. Although people will let us down, the Lord never will. He will fulfill us and meet our expectations. Marriage can be a difficult journey, but with the Lord’s help, you can have a happy and fulfilling relationship.
If you’re struggling with the disappointment of unmet expectations, I would encourage you to tune in to our broadcast “Becoming a Wholehearted Wife” with Erin and Greg Smalley. They explain how wives can become “wholehearted,” and encourage husbands to walk that journey with their spouses. You can listen to our broadcast online, on iTunes, via Podcast, or on our free phone app.
I hope you’ll also consider a donation to Focus on the Family. With your support, we can continue to help marriages thrive. With your donation of any amount, as our way of saying thanks, we’ll send you a copy of Erin Smalley’s book Becoming a Wholehearted Wife. You can get it for yourself or for someone you know who is struggling in their marriage. Check our website for details. Thank you for partnering with us to help families in need!