Daly Focus Blog
Have you ever wished you could change something about yourself? I’m sure we all have. We wish we were taller or shorter, that we had curly hair or straight, or that we could throw a ball or play an instrument like someone else.
It’s not unusual to wish for strength in areas where you’re weak, or talent where you’re not gifted. But it’s a short leap from that common desire to losing sight of the purpose for which God created you.
My wife, Jean, is a living embodiment of Proverbs 16:24: “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.”
Every time I call her on the phone, she answers with a positive tone that lets me know she’s glad to hear from me. Her voice is a moment of respite for me in what can often be a busy and stressful schedule.
Positive words bless people, but it’s not always easy to speak them.
My wife Jean and I have raised two boys, Trent and Troy. Throughout their childhoods, I was able to enjoy a lot of father/son time with them. Just the three of us. Baseball games. Football games. Camping. Fishing.
Looking back on it, the one thing I would change is that I would have done more with each of them individually, to invest one on one time with them. Individual quality time is a great way to show a child love.
You can learn a lot from your kids’ report cards. Letter grades may not tell the whole story behind your child’s education, but they do give a sense of where your children are struggling in school and where they’re doing well.
Years ago, I started using the same idea to help me better connect with my two boys. Every few months, I’d ask, “How well do you feel I listen to you when you have a problem to share?
Remember the days when your boys climbed jungle gyms and went up and down slides? They cultivated friendships and learned to navigate their world on the playground.
Now that they’re teenagers, the playground is social media. They connect, form relationships, and shape their identity by measuring themselves against “influencers” in the virtual world.
Your son’s online presence could be summarized by “more accessibility, less accountability.” Back in the day, things like pornography and dangerous worldviews were “around,” but they weren’t finding their way into a child’s world through every Wi-Fi signal in the house.
Jean and I have a strong-willed boy. Over the years, we’ve joked that we were raising a lawyer-in-training. He could find a loophole in anything.
Once, Jean hosted a women’s tea and set out chocolates in the living room. She later discovered half the bowl was gone. When she asked him if he’d eaten all the chocolates, our son responded, “No,” without hesitation.
“You didn’t eat the chocolates?”
“Oh, I ate some of them. But you asked if I had eaten all of them.”
If you’ve got a strong-willed child, you’ve probably encountered situations like that.
Consider this: according to The New York Times, 201 powerful men have been exposed for their mistreatment of women in recent years. Titans of the business world, of politics, and of the entertainment industry. Their behavior cost them their reputations and ended their careers. A few of the men wound up in jail. Or dead.
The question our culture must answer is, “Why did those 201 men believe that their power gave them the right to mistreat anybody?” How did these men become so bereft of a moral compass?
In our Welcome Center here at the Focus on the Family campus, children have the opportunity to leave their prayer requests with us.
One of my favorites is from a 9-year-old boy who wrote, “Please pray for my brother. He wets the bed. And pray for me. I share the bed with my brother.”
Some prayer requests are much more serious, like the 8-year-old boy who wanted us to ask God to help his dad stop drinking and be healthy again.
I never knew my grandparents, but family friends – Mr. and Mrs. Hope – became surrogate grandparents to me. They led my mother to the Lord and treated her and me and my siblings as part of their family.
Some of my fondest childhood memories are visiting with Grandpa Hope. He would sit in a big recliner in his garden atrium, play checkers with us kids and – like any good grandfather – lose on purpose often enough to build our self-confidence.
Every day parents face a new fork in the road of some kind. You want what’s best for your child. But it’s not always clear what is best.
Will your children thrive with more boundaries? Or more freedom?
Is your child old enough for technology? If so, what kind? And how much screen time should they be allowed?
Are their friends a good influence? Are your children a good influence on their friends?
There is no formula for parenting but there are seven traits to guide moms and dads toward:
AdaptabilityRespectIntentionalityLoveGratitudeGraceForgiveness
How can we raise our children with an approach that infuses them with godly maturity and grace for others?
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
