Married couples often think about conflict with each other in black and white terms. Solving problems is all or nothing – meaning every issue, no matter how small or insignificant, is argued over – or they go to the other extreme, no issue ever gets resolved, no matter how destructive it is to the relationship.
There’s a better way. Counselor and author Dr. Randy Schroeder encourages couples to view marital conflict in terms of scratches, cuts, and lacerations:
Scratches are superficial wounds caused by things like misunderstandings or thoughtless words.