Daly Focus Blog
Mom, are you suffering an identity crisis? When you introduce yourself, do you say, “I’m just a mom”? Do you see your own shortcomings and minimize the role you play in your kids’ lives?
I understand the temptation to think that way. On the surface, there’s nothing glamorous about chasing kids around the house, fixing meal after meal, and stepping on toys scattered down the hallway.
But motherhood is a unique calling. You’re not simply changing diapers; you’re molding character.
What do you do when you’ve prayed for a miracle … and the miracle never comes?
Jason Hague faced that situation after his son Jack was born. Like any father, Jason had dreams for his relationship with his son – the games they’d play together, the conversations they’d have.
Around age two, Jack started to regress developmentally. He struggled to walk. He lost his vocabulary and his ability to communicate. Jack was soon diagnosed with autism, and everything in Jason’s family changed.
Do you remember when you were first married – how you and your spouse enjoyed endless conversation, had fun together every weekend, and always seemed to have time for one another?
Do you remember how all of that changed in the years after you became parents – how every moment seemed busy with sports practice, dentist appointments, and school programs?
Once a couple has children, it’s easy for the marriage to get pushed down the priority list.
There’s an old saying: “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”
In most homes, Mom sets the tone. She’s the temperature gauge. If she’s in a great mood, everything else will run smooth.
Many women enter motherhood envisioning themselves as patient, kind, loving, soft, and gentle. And when they actually have a child, they’re confronted with the reality that children have a will of their own from infancy.
Children have an incredible way of pushing a mom’s buttons and triggering what author Becky Kopitzke calls the “momster.” Motherhood will find a way to squeeze out the most sinful parts of a woman, even one who strives to be under control and in tune with God.
Author Aaron Sharp says that every new dad is like Peter Parker, the mild-mannered character in the Marvel comic series who becomes Spider-Man. A pivotal moment in Peter’s story comes when he’s bitten by a radioactive spider, and his life changes forever … only, he doesn’t immediately realize it.
For a man, that pivotal moment comes the first time his wife says, “We’re having a baby.” The man’s life changes forever … only he doesn’t immediately realize what’s coming down the pike.
What would you do if your boss asked you to train someone for your job so well that you’d no longer be needed?
That’s an important question to answer if you have a child, because that’s precisely your task as a parent.
Some parents react to the process of letting go of their children by not letting go. They cling to their need to feel needed. But the task of every parent is to work yourself out of a job by raising children who become adults capable of standing on their own two feet.
Our culture is so toxic for young girls that an increasing number are suffering from a growing list of troubles – from low self-esteem and anxiety to depression and eating disorders. What’s the answer?
It isn’t so much a “what” as it is a “who.” Mothers are instrumental in helping their daughters navigate a world that is often against them.
One of Mom’s key roles is being a good listener. Teen girls usually seek out Mom for advice and feel most comfortable sharing their heart with her.
Jesus’ mother was Mary.
The prophet Samuel’s mother was Hannah.
King David’s mother?
The Bible doesn’t tell us. But she must have had tremendous insight into how to raise a boy to become man. Everyone remembers David for conquering Goliath. Yet, his strength and trust in the Lord were developed as a teenager in the field:
“But David said to Saul, “Your servant used to keep sheep for his father. And when there came a lion, or a bear, and took a lamb from the flock, I went after him and struck him and delivered it out of his mouth.
Do you feel like a failure as a parent?
At Focus on the Family, we hear from thousands of parents who do.
Formulaic parenting is a common reason for this. It’s the go-to method for a lot of moms and dads. They believe that parenting ought to be predictable. The right input should guarantee the right outcome. When it doesn’t, they wonder, “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with my child?”
A better approach is something called “trust-based relational parenting,” an idea that many say has revolutionized their parenting.
Let me tell you about a boy named Tom. At an early age, he developed a hearing problem, which caused him a lot of trouble at school. He was easily distracted. He frustrated his teachers by disrupting the class and steering the conversation in random directions. His teachers considered him “stupid, restless, and a slow learner who asked too many questions.” Tom’s public education was a complete failure.
If that were your child, how would you react?
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
