Why Is Modern Dating so Confusing for Christians?

What’s the worst date you’ve ever had?

Our own Lisa Anderson, who spearheads Boundless, Focus on the Family’s ministry to singles, has had some doozies. One guy showed up to their second date with a full PowerPoint presentation for how their relationship ought to move forward, complete with pivot tables and algorithms.

Experiences like that are just one reason many singles express so much confusion and frustration about the dating process and their hopes for marriage.

Another issue is the societal messages that encourage young adults to live their lives more fully before they get married. They’re told to pursue their dreams first, achieve important goals, and wait to find the person that is absolutely perfect for them.

Even the church seems to be elevating service, professionalism, and ministry to the point that it inadvertently lessens the value of marriage and family.

What’s the consequence to the young adult? Some fall victim to the whole “ball and chain” cliché, thinking once they get married they’ll have to limit their activities to soccer games and family outings. They become trapped in a sort of Peter Pan syndrome where they live in a perpetual state of immaturity.

Others pursue lofty dreams. They want to complete their education and get their career well underway before they get married. Or they want to travel the world or achieve some lifelong ambition. Even if the goals are positive, they’re disassociated from normal life, including marriage and family.

It’s all leading large percentages of young men and women to think, “I’m sure I’ll get married someday, just not right now.” But one day they wake up, and they’re 30 or 40, and they’re no closer to marriage than they were at 20.

What seems to get lost in all of this is that the dating years can be lived with a purpose that prepares young people for marriage.

With that framework in mind, we welcome Lisa Anderson to our studios for the next couple of programs. She’ll be talking about what she wishes she’d been told in her 20s about dating and the pursuit of marriage, but wasn’t.

Obviously, not everyone is going to get married. Some people feel confident it’s the Lord’s will for them to remain single, and they’re content with that direction for their life. But most people choose to be married. So we want to have an honest conversation about how to date well and be intentional about preparing your heart for marriage.

I hope you’ll take a few minutes and join us. Lisa has a great sense of humor and some fun stories to share. But she also has a wealth of advice and wisdom you’ll be interested in if you or someone you love is single.

Check out the broadcast, “Dating and Pursuing Marriage with Purpose,” on your local radio station. Or tune in anytime online or via our free, downloadable mobile phone app.