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Improve Yourself, Improve Your Relationships

Personal growth doesn’t only benefit us, it ripples outward into all of our relationships, especially our marriage.

Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott got a unique window into that perspective while on vacation in Italy. One day, they went to visit Michelangelo’s famous statue of King David. So did thousands of other people. To escape the crowds, the Parrotts explored a nearby wing of the building called the “Hall of the Prisoners.” It featured unfinished statues that Michelangelo considered emblematic of mankind’s struggle to feel integrated with God, with ourselves, and with the people around us.

The incomplete statues personified a theme the Parrotts had witnessed time and time again while counseling married couples: Our relationships are only as complete as we are. The healthier we become the healthier our relationships become. Couples improve their relationships by improving themselves.

How?

On Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, I asked the Parrotts that. They shared how we individually improve by growing in three areas of self-discovery:

  • Profound Significance: Relational health is rooted in the knowledge that we are profoundly significant in the eyes of God. This is deeper than intellectual understanding; this is understanding through experience. As Saint Augustine said, “God loves each of us as if there were only one of us.”
  • Unswerving Authenticity: Choosing not to be true to yourself means choosing to be fake to others. Authenticity is different than perfection. It’s about integrity with who God has designed you to be rather than conforming to everyone else’s expectations.
  • Self-Giving Love: Without love, people focus on themselves instead of others.

The first principle is about relating to God. The second is about relating to yourself. The third is about relating to everybody else.

Les and Leslie have been friends of Focus on the Family for many years. They’ve been married since 1984 and have two sons. Les is a clinical psychologist, and Leslie is a marriage and family therapist. They are popular conference speakers, relationship experts, and best-selling authors. You can hear my full conversation with them on your local radio station, online, on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or take us with you on our free phone app.

While you’re online, why not take a few moments to try our free Marriage Assessment online tool? It will help you quickly determine what’s working well in your relationship and identify areas where you may need some improvement.

Before I close, I’d like to extend an invitation for you to become a special partner with us through our monthly “Friends of Focus on the Family” program. When you do, you’ll receive member-exclusive benefits, and I’ll send you a copy of Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott’s book Healthy Me, Healthy Us: Your Relationships Are Only as Strong as You Are, which conveys personal stories, research, and Scripture that will help you better understand how you can develop a strong foundation for your relationship by focusing on personal areas of growth. It’s our way of saying thank you for touching others with the love of Christ. To make your pledge, or for more information, click here or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).

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Topics: Family and Home Tags: faith, family May 27, 2025 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

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Jim-Daly President of Focus on the Family
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Daly Focus

Jim-Daly Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.

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