A Boy's Emotional Vocabulary

Men are notorious for not expressing their feelings well.

A big reason for that is they were never taught how to do it as boys. No one tells them, “You’re gonna feel anger and grief, and here’s how you handle those emotions.” When boys get upset and shove their sister or backtalk their teacher, their behavior gets scolded, but no one teaches them how to harness their emotion and channel it in positive ways.

I once heard a professional football player say that he struggled to manage his emotions because he was expected to be aggressive in his job each day but then switch it off before he returned home each night. That’s a challenge every man faces, no matter his profession. The aggression that fuels his success in the business world also stirs up conflict at home with his wife and kids.

True strength is not expressed through physical power, but through inner control. The answer for male aggression is not for men to become passive, to seek safety instead of risk, or to stand against nothing while their families, or their culture, come under attack. The answer is for men to develop an emotional vocabulary that helps them identify and channel their feelings in constructive ways that build life up instead of tearing it down.

Healthy homes are not created by weak men but by men with strong character who use their strength to lift up the people around them.