Wonder Woman.
Batgirl.
Supergirl.
The Invisible Woman.
Wives.
What do all of these women have in common?
They can be strong and fierce in character. They’re capable of having bold convictions and standing firmly behind their decisions.
Really, the comparisons could go on and on, and I think it’s important that a woman’s strengths be celebrated.
There’s just one catch: Fictional superheroines are esteemed because they stand on their own and lead their lives independent of men.
But God never intended Christian wives to do the same. The trouble is our culture, for the most part, no longer recognizes biblical gender roles. Specific functions within a marriage are seen as outdated beliefs from a patriarchal society.
But Scripture is as relevant as ever, and it’s clear: God has assigned specific roles to men and women, husbands and wives. Men are to lead their families. Couples are to love and honor each other. The list goes on.
But because the culture is jettisoning that tradition, wives are stepping into the void that’s created and saying, “I’m strong. I can lead my family through life myself.”
So how do Christian wives balance their God-given strengths with their role as detailed in the Bible? It starts with understanding what it means to harness their strength.
They’ll either live beautifully fierce or destructively fierce. A beautifully fierce woman is submitted to the influence and direction of the Holy Spirit. A destructively fierce woman is self-focused, self-centered, and living for her own glory, rather than God’s.
The difference between the two can create a chasm that separates a healthy marriage from one that self-destructs.
Kimberly Wagner knows all about that. She had a lot to learn about directing her strength toward positive outcomes for her marriage. Every argument was one to win. After all, why would you adopt an opinion and not fight to win an argument unless it was the right opinion to have?
Leroy, her husband and a pastor, realized early on in their engagement that he was outgunned. Kimberly was such a strong personality she overwhelmed him in her ability to argue and articulate her position. The sheer force of her strength caused him to shut down.
It nearly ended their marriage, but God led them on a healing journey that exposed their expectations, their faults, and their need for change.
You can hear their encouraging story on our broadcast today. You’ll discover that the heart of the matter is the need for Christ-like humility in a marriage. One of the greatest foundational building blocks for a relationship is the ability to speak to one another in honesty and truth, but with grace and humility.
Unfortunately, serving in the pastorate only intensified the Wagners’ conflict. That’s why today’s conversation brings to my mind other pastors and their wives, the immense pressure they’re under, and the way it impacts their marriage.
If you’re a pastor listening to our program, and you’re thinking, “The Wagners’ story is where I’m living today,” please call us and let us help you work through what’s happening.
Also, as I’ve mentioned before, situations like the Wagners’ are why we brought the National Institute of Marriage (NIM) under the umbrella of Focus on the Family, to provide couples with the wisdom and healing they need to rescue their marriage.
So if you’re feeling hopeless and are contemplating divorce – even if you’ve already filed the paperwork – I encourage you to reconsider your options. With guidance from our team of experts, God can intervene and transform your marriage in ways that may seem impossible to you right now.
Give our National Institute of Marriage a call at 1-866-875-2915 or visit online at nationalmarriage.com.
I often talk about it, but as Christians our witness in our marriage is either going to do harm in the culture or do tremendous good in the culture in the name of Jesus.
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