Hurt? Don't Hate.

In 2006, Charles Roberts entered the one-room schoolhouse of a Pennsylvania Amish community, took a dozen girls hostage, then shot ten of them, killing five before taking his own life.

Days after the shooting, something profound happened. The grandfather of one of the murdered girls stood up at her funeral and urged the congregation to have mercy. “Instead of choosing hate,” he said, “forgive.”

And they did.

Although heartbroken, the people responded to their tragic circumstances with grace. Several families from the Amish community went so far as to visit the gunman’s widow, to pray with her, and to offer her love and comfort instead of judgment.

The natural response when someone hurts us is to lash out in revenge, to make the other person hurt as we do. But revenge only satisfies for a moment. The negative consequences last a lifetime. Resentment and bitterness make our suffering worse, not better. They keep us stuck in our pain instead of setting us free.

Forgiveness isn’t easy – or fair. Sadly, no amount of forgiveness erases a tragedy. The hurt that you and I suffer is wrong, and we don’t have to pretend otherwise. Nevertheless, forgiveness is our only hope if we want to leave our past behind and move forward, toward peace. We find healing not by hurting somebody else, but by making ourselves whole again.

If you hurt, don’t hate. Forgive.