Jim Daly

Daly Focus Blog

FOTF logo
  • Home
  • Family & Home
  • Current Events
  • Focus News
  • About

Marrying Yourself?

Straight from the files of It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World:

Writing in the American Prospect, Samhita Mukhopadhyay suggests that a growing number of people, especially women, are deciding to marry themselves. Here she quotes an individual named Sasha Cagan about such cases popping up around the country:

Madmadworld.jpgThe choice to marry yourself takes the coming-of-age ritual to a new level. It’s not just about getting towels or diamond rings or attention. The common theme in most of the stories that I hear is a commitment to take care of oneself as one hopes or imagines that a lover would. Women also frame self-matrimony as a unique solution to the problem of women sacrificing their own needs in a relationship. Marry yourself first, they say, before marrying anyone else.

Ms. Mukhopadhyay editorializes:

For Cagen, self-marriage can be a radical act not only in self-love, but a statement about the roles women are put in within traditional relationships.

In concluding her essay the writer offers high praise for such women, qualifying their decision to marry themselves as “quite courageous.”

weddingring1.jpgIf the whole thing strikes you as very peculiar you wouldn’t be alone. My friend, Dr. Brad Wilcox, is a marriage researcher out of the University of Virginia. He calls the development “nonsensical” and notes that a person who does “self-marry” is still single – regardless of what he or she may think.

Of course, he is right.
Beyond the peculiarities, though, there is a sad reality woven throughout. According to the author’s analysis the reason people are marrying themselves is because they feel incomplete as single people, and therein lies the fundamental problem.

Marriage is a wonderful institution and assuming you marry wisely, it can make for a wonder-filled life. But marriage shouldn’t define us.

Only our faith in Jesus Christ can do that.

In fact, it’s entirely possible for a single person to have an equally wonderful life as a married person, assuming they’re allowing the Lord to define them as opposed to their status as a single person. Different, yes, but still wonder-filled.

It is true that the Lord places certain desires on our hearts, and for many single people that wish is to be married.

But (and I can’t even believe that I’m writing this), marrying yourself is obviously not the answer.

Marrying yourself isn’t “courageous.”

Marrying yourself is just plain weird.

Sign up for my weekly e-newsletter

Topics: Family and Home Tags: church, husband, intimacy, sex, wife May 30, 2012 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

Related Posts

  • Foster Care: How Everyone Can HelpFoster Care: How Everyone Can Help
  • Married coupleHow to Have a Better Sex Life by Understanding Your Love Styles
  • The Secret to Being a Happy Wife

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Jim-Daly President of Focus on the Family
Jim Daly
with Paul Batura

Posts by Jim

Unhappy couple

Misunderstanding in Marriage

My Passion for the Harvest

Do You Believe in Miracles?

Topics

  • Current Events
  • Family and Home
  • Focus Events
  • Uncategorized

Daly Focus

Jim-Daly Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.

Jim Daly Blog

Home
About
Posting Guidelines
Terms & Conditions
Privacy Policy
FAQs

Connect with Me

Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
RSS