Moms and Anger: Understanding Your Triggers

Parenting can be frustrating!

Authors Amber Lia and Wendy Speake thought they were the only moms who struggled with anger and shame. Then they talked to a lot of other moms and discovered that they weren’t alone.

Anger catches many women off guard. Stress, helplessness, and feelings of inadequacy slowly build until some final straw pushes them over the edge. Shame quickly follows, which pushes women into isolation. For every brave mom who acknowledges a problem with anger, hundreds more wonder if they alone struggle.

Amber and Wendy are joining me on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly to say, “You are not alone.” They’re offering encouragement to moms who struggle with anger and explaining how to manage anger in healthy ways.

Emotional triggers are the source of a lot of anger. Amber and Wendy encourage moms to see emotional triggers as opportunities to respond softly to your kids when you feel an angry reaction building within you.

There are two types of triggers moms must learn to navigate:

External triggers are when a mom’s anger is the result of her children or the circumstances around her.
Internal triggers are the result of struggles within the mom’s own mind and heart.

Amber and Wendy encourage moms to view themselves as coaches. When an athlete fails, good coaches identify the weakness and then offers exercises that will train the athlete to overcome it. Likewise, moms can inspire, uplift, and give their children wings to fly. If we coach our kids to become more like Christ, we offer them confidence and hope.

James 1:19 says, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.” That is hard to do, but with God’s help, we can respond with grace even when our buttons get pushed.

Tune in for my conversation with Amber Lia and Wendy Speake on your local radio station, online, on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, via Google Podcasts, or listen on our free phone app.

Before I close, I’d like to extend an invitation for you to become a special partner with us through our monthly “Friends of Focus on the Family” program. When you do, I’ll send you a copy of Amber and Wendy’s book Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses as a way of saying thank you for touching others with the love of Christ. You’ll also receive member-exclusive benefits. To make your pledge, or for more information, click here or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).

We’ve also got a free parenting assessment for you at our website. It will quickly give you an overview of how your family is doing in several key areas. It also offers suggestions for improving the relationships in your home.