Daly Focus Blog
The empty nest years can be a “tight ring season.”
That’s a term coined by Marci Seither and her husband after a customer hired the Seithers’ sawmill in Northern California to remove a huge tree from the spot where their new home would be built. Feeling it a shame to lose such a beautiful tree, the homeowners planned to recycle the lumber by using it in the house’s construction.
But once they cut down the tree, they discovered the wood was too weak to use.
Do you like to buy gifts for your children? I sure do for my two boys. I enjoy seeing the look on their face when they get an unexpected present about as much as they enjoy opening it. But here’s the tricky part. We parents can overdo gift giving. From bikes to smartphones to cars, some of us give our kids everything. We all love to see our children happy, of course, but a little struggle can be good for them.
Bob and Audrey wanted to change the world. They got married and hit the ground running. Within a few years, they had three kids. They worked at the local and the national level to strengthen families. They were well known in the community. And they were busy. Really busy. Not only did they not see that as a problem, they saw it as a mindset. Every moment was an important opportunity to reach somebody that needed help.
Everyone is chasing significance of some kind:
Achievement.
Recognition.
Wealth.
Power.
Popularity.
Success.
But when “the chase” takes center stage, the busyness and focus required can leave us with no energy to offer our most important relationships.
How can we prioritize our marriage and family in light of all the responsibilities that demand our attention each day?
Authors Josh and Christi Straub are answering that question on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. They believe couples can transform their relationship by becoming the president of their spouse’s “fan club.” That means focusing on what matters, championing their strengths, and encouraging them to become the best version of themselves – that is, who God designed them to be.
Many parents feel anxious about the growing number of negative cultural influences that reduce the possibility that this generation will base their lives in the Christian faith. According to statistics, 45-48% of children today leave church after college and never return. Many disconnect from their faith even earlier.
This poses a significant challenge for parents. While it’s wise to monitor your children’s exposure to music, videos, and social media, they also need to learn discernment. Most situations are a mixture of good and bad.
Author Melanie Shankle says each of us has dragons to face. She means life is a journey in which we continually encounter difficult situations, learn to trust God, and by His grace grow through adversity.
Sometimes the dragons we have to slay are those that rise up from our past via an unhealthy, even toxic, childhood. If this describes, you, Melanie shares your pain. Like you she grew up in a household shaped by abuse, manipulation, or alcoholism.
The late Steve Farrar believed Psalm 23 was the most dangerous Psalm in the Bible – dangerous because we know it so well that it loses its deep meaning and significance. The Psalm is only six verses long, but each one is potent and pregnant with meaning.
David, who wrote Psalm 23, could have written from the perspective of the shepherd. Instead, he wrote it from the perspective of the sheep. God’s people are called “sheep” over 200 times in the Bible.
One of the most common questions people ask is, “Where is God when we suffer?”
I don’t pretend to have all the answers, but I would say this: God doesn’t abandon us in our pain; He’s with us in it.
Hardship makes us feel isolated. From God. From everyone. But we don’t have to search for God in the clouds when we feel alone. He’s right there with us wherever grace and truth are found. He’s in charity work, in shelters, and in religious communities.
German pastor, Dietrich Bonhoeffer once called praying together the heartbeat of the Christian community.
It’s true for marriage, too.
Married couples are designed for intimacy. Yet, like Adam and Eve in the garden, they often hide from God and each other. Some couples avoid intimacy because it feels safer than risking exposure and shame. But long-term, hiding has the opposite effect. Instead of feeling more loved, we feel more lost. Instead of feeling more accepted, we feel more alone.
Trust.
It’s a crucial part of the human experience because it’s the foundation of intimacy and well-being in relationships – from marriage to parenting to friendships to business partners. While trust often begins with emotion, it is more than just good feelings. It’s rooted in solid, observable qualities that assure us we can rely on someone to deliver what we need.
Trust deepens bonds and calls us to be faithful toward one another. But trusting others can be difficult because trust can be broken.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
