Daly Focus Blog
Parenting is the toughest job in the world.
Why?
For one thing, you never truly master parenting. By the time you make sense of one stage of your kids’ lives, they’ve already moved on to the next. One minute you’re a Ph.D., the next minute you’re starting from scratch in “Parenting 101.”
Parenting is also tough because you can never resign or retire. From toddlerhood to adulthood, your role as a parent will change, but parenting itself never really ends.
The desire to be popular, pretty, or admired by other people starts early for girls.
Beauty and body image are now common concerns for girls as young as 10 years old. By age 17, 78% report feeling unhappy with their bodies.
My wife and I didn’t have the privilege of raising daughters, but Jean can attest to struggling with feeling comfortable in her own skin as a teen girl.
Truth be told, Eve was the first and only female to experience God’s love and acceptance while living in an environment free of competition with or comparison to anyone else.
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful forces in the world.
So, why is it so hard to do?
Because, while we want mercy for ourselves, we want others to be held accountable.
Jesus told a story about a servant who owed the king a substantial debt of 10,000 talents. For reference, one talent was roughly equivalent to a year’s wages. A debt of 10,000 talents, then, meant the servant was hopelessly trapped in his miserable circumstances.
A father told psychologist Michael Anderson, “You wouldn’t believe what my daughter has become. Ninety days ago, she was an A-student. She was in the church youth group and did anything we told her to do. Now she’s smoking and drinking, shoplifting, and does anything her friends tell her to do.”
Michael responded, “The only thing that has changed is who your daughter is listening to.”
In working with the family, Michael knew that the father had never encouraged his daughter to think for herself, only to follow instructions.
Few things in life are as good as we think they are.
Believe it or not, there’s even a scientific term for that phenomenon called the Better-Than-Average Effect. In short, our tendency is to think of ourselves more highly than we ought to.
We don’t sing as well as we think we do.
We don’t eat or exercise as healthy as we should.
We minimize our addictions.
We downplay our depression.
We believe that our marriages are healthier than they are.
Once more, innocent children have become casualties in the ongoing cultural revolution.
The state of Oregon recently prohibited Jessica Bates, a mother of five, from becoming certified as a foster care parent.
Why?
Oregon’s Department of Human Services requires foster parents to “respect, accept and support the race, spiritual beliefs, sexual orientation, gender identity and gender expression, disabilities, national origin, cultural identities, immigration status and socioeconomic status of a child or young adult in the care or custody of the Department.”
As a Christian, Jessica told state officials that she respects everyone, but that she believes “God gives us our gender/sex and it’s not something we get to choose.” In other words, she cannot in good conscience support any effort to try and change one’s biological sex.
What does intimacy look like in a thriving marriage?
Pronounce the word “intimacy” a little differently, and the answer becomes clearer. Instead of saying, “intimacy,” say, “Into me, see.”
The idea is that healthy couples “see into” each other’s hearts. They discover each other’s likes and dislikes, put each other’s needs above their own, and seek to better understand each other’s perspectives.
To create intimacy that will sustain your marriage across a lifetime, weave the following three virtues through every part of your relationship:
Always be honest with each other.
From growing up dirt poor to becoming reality television superstars, Phil and Kay Robertson, of A&E’s Duck Dynasty, have experienced more than 50 years of ups and downs together.
Their first years as a couple were marred by poverty and alcohol abuse so severe that, at one point, Miss Kay kicked Phil out of the house. Their future together looked bleak.
What transformed them and their relationship? According to Phil: repentance.
He says:
“We look at the word ‘repent’ as a bad thing.
Yesterday at Focus on the Family, our staff came together for our Maundy Thursday chapel, a special time for reflecting on our Lord’s final hours before ascending Calvary to shed His blood on our behalf. Today, our offices are closed in honor of Good Friday.
Some of my non-Christian readers may not understand the meaningful symbolism ascribed to Jesus and His sacrifice on the cross. They see Jesus as a wise prophet, a good man, or a great teacher in a long line of equals to be imitated as we would any other great person.
It’s not easy for a single mother to raise a son. It’s even more difficult when that son has autism.
Emily Colson can attest to both. Her husband walked out when their son Max was just 18-months old, saying he couldn’t handle the stress.
And there was a lot of stress.
Max’s autism was so severe that, for a time, Emily couldn’t leave home with him – not to the grocery store, not to friends’ houses, not to church.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
