Rejecting Divorce and Choosing to Stay

Fifteen years into their marriage, an otherwise normal lunch date between Carey and Toni Nieuwhof turned into a disastrous argument.

As they remember it now, Carey complained about something, which triggered Toni to shut down, which compelled Carey to persist in his argument, which escalated Toni’s emotions until she exploded in anger. By the end of the lunch, Toni was so frustrated that she threw her wedding ring at him and said, “I don’t want this anymore.”

It’s heartbreaking to see married couples reach a point of desperation and hopelessness. They make a lifelong commitment to each other at their wedding, but within a few years they wonder how long they can go on together.

Before deciding to divorce, I encourage you to invite the Lord into your trouble. Despite past wounds, or even betrayal, I believe God can transform your marriage – if your heart is willing.

The Nieuwhofs testify to that. They’ve now been married for over 30 years and are telling their story on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Rejecting Divorce and Choosing to Stay.”

Carey is an author, speaker, and podcaster. Toni is a family law mediator who has written a book about she and Casey’s journey of marriage called Before You Split: Find What You Really Want for the Future of Your Marriage.

They’re joining us on our program to encourage struggling couples who may be considering divorce to fight for their marriages and to move toward healing. Listen on your local radio station, online, on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, via Google Podcasts, or take us with you on our free phone app.

Before I close, I want to remind you about Hope Restored. If you’re on the brink of divorce, our Hope restored marriage intensives can go a long way toward facilitating healing between you and your spouse and bringing restoration to your relationship. The intensives take place in four locations: Branson, MO; Greenville, MI; the WinShape Retreat Center in Rome, GA; and our brand-new location in Cave Creek, AZ. The number for Hope Restored is 1-866-875-2915, or visit online.

Toni Nieuwhof’s book Before You Split: Find What You Really Want for the Future of Your Marriage is available for a gift of any amount. For more information, click here or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).

And when you help Focus on the Family today with a gift, your donation will be doubled for twice the impact in helping others through this ministry. Our thanks to generous donors who’ve made that possible. (For more information, click here.)