Tackling Midlife Transitions in Marriage

Every couple experiences transitions in marriage. Believe it or not, most of them are predictable – in some cases unavoidable. You’re no doubt familiar with the “baby makes three” phase and the “empty-nest years.” Between those two are other transitions that will significantly impact your time, energy, and relationship with each other. For a healthy marriage, it’s important to handle these transitions in ways that strengthen your marriage instead of causing rifts.

According to relationship experts Bill and Pam Farrel, women tend to reevaluate their lives between their late 20’s and late 30’s. For some, that can be a process of “blooming” and discovering new horizons in life. For others, it can feel like a crisis: “I love my husband and my children, but there must be more to life than dishes, laundry, and responsibility.”

At about the same time, men usually come to grips with the realities of developing a career while keeping up with the rising demands of a growing family. These men experience feelings of fight or flight. They either stay in the marriage and fight to move their family forward, or they say, “This is too hard. I don’t want to be married anymore.”

How do you keep your marriage strong through stressful – albeit expected – transitions in life? Bill and Pam Farrel are joining me on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly to offer insight and practical suggestions. They share key decisions men and women can make to safeguard their marriage.

First, the women:

Communicate effectively with your husband.
Take questions about your life and your marriage to safe circles.
Develop yourself – look for ways to nurture your interests in ways that fit with the rest of your priorities.
Keep your eyes off yourself. Life will continue even while you are in this time of transition.

As for men, they are more likely to make the right choice and stay with their families when:

They have a male mentor who encourages them to believe that he can be successful, even when life is hard.
They make time to listen to their wives and play with their children.
They take advantage of tools that build a healthy life, such as: marriage conferences, Bible studies, marriage enrichment groups, or counseling.
His wife and children show him respect and appreciation for his hard work.

The Farrels have many more practical ideas to bless your marriage. Hear our full conversation on your local radio station, online, on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, via Google Podcasts, or listen on our free phone app.

Before I close, I’d like to extend an invitation for you to become a special partner with us through our monthly “Friends of Focus on the Family” program. When you do, I’ll send you a copy of Bill and Pam Farrel’s book The 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make: Bring Out the Best in Your Relationship as a way of saying thank you for touching others with the love of Christ. You’ll also receive member-exclusive benefits. To make your pledge, or for more information, click here or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).