Daly Focus Blog
There is only one reason respected author and marriage expert Dr. Gary Chapman vacuums his house: Love. No, he doesn’t love vacuuming; he loves his wife, Karolyn. Her love language is acts of service, so Dr. Chapman spends a lot of time doing things that he hates but that make her happy – like vacuuming the floor.
Dr. Chapman says he shares that story with his audiences, not so they’ll applaud him for being such a great guy, but so they’ll learn an important lesson about love.
Many married couples believe they struggle because they’re so different from each other. But handled well, differences can draw you together instead of drive you apart.
Like you and your spouse, my wife and I are opposites. She’s a night owl, while I’m a morning person. I wake up bubbly and excited to conquer the day, but she doesn’t. By evening, we switch roles. She’s lively and ready to talk, and I just want to crawl into bed and go to sleep.
It’s wise to think about your relationships in terms of boundaries. Kathy and Tom didn’t, and it got their marriage off to a rocky start.
Kathy, an introvert, blamed Tom, an extrovert, for smothering her. He placed such an emphasis on spending time together that Kathy often felt like she had no personal space or time for herself. Tom, in turn, interpreted Kathy’s desire for space as a lack of love for him, leaving him feeling hurt and disconnected.
Success rarely happens overnight. Most goals can only be reached by keeping the big picture in mind and staying the course until you achieve them.
In 1897, a construction worker named Pearle Wait came up with the idea of mixing fruit flavoring with powdered gelatin. His wife nicknamed the jelly-like substance “Jell-O.” At the time, Pearle made extra money selling homemade medical remedies like cough syrup door to door. He switched to Jell-O. For months, he tried to sell his new product all over town, but he had trouble generating interest.
According to the CDC, nearly one in four women and one in seven men report having experienced physical violence from an intimate partner. Likely, those numbers are low because most abuse cases go unreported.
Domestic violence is evil. It’s a perversion of God’s design for relationship and should never be tolerated or excused. And yet, tragically, some Christian traditions encourage victims stay with their abusive spouse. This advice ignores other teachings in the Bible about love, safety, self-care, and serving God and each other through our relationships.
Is it up to fate whether or not men become a good father?
My dad was a poor role model. He was an alcoholic and in his drunken stupors he would threaten my mother and scare me to death. He walked out on our family when I was five then floated in and out of my life for years. He was never a positive influence and didn’t model for me what good fathering looked like. Mostly, he broke his promises and disappointed me again and again.
When we talk to people who believe differently than us, do we think before we speak? Author and internationally known public speaker Dr. Emerson Eggerichs is joining me on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly to share practical ideas for speaking the truth in love.
Being nice is easy. It’s how we act toward someone with whom we share common ground. Kindness requires something deeper. Kindness engages in civil dialogue with others even though they hold different religious beliefs, social values, or political viewpoints.
Few things are as painful for Christian parents as a child who turns away from his or her faith. Often mixed with that sadness is the parents’ guilt. In their minds, they’ve failed in their efforts to lead their child to Christ.
But effective parenting isn’t black and white. We can’t be perfect parents any more than we can be perfect human beings. We all fail. In addition, as children grow older, they become more independent and make their own choices.
For more than 45 years, elementary students across America have had a legal right to attend elective offsite Bible classes during their public-school day. “Released time” laws allow students to attend religious training opportunities of their choice.
Bible2School (B2S) is one such program. Located in Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Idaho and Texas, B2S isn’t extracurricular; it takes place during the school day and, according to the Supreme Court, is a protected Constitutional right in all 50 states.
The stress of daily life takes a toll on even the happiest couples – which is why marriage and family counselor Dr. Randy Schroeder says seeking marital happiness is unrealistic. A better approach is to pursue consistent marital satisfaction. How? Good habits.
Dr. Schroeder offers four “daily essentials” for creating good habits in your marriage:
“Goodbye, I love you.” Whoever leaves the house first should initiate this.
“Goodnight, I love you.” Whoever goes to bed first should initiate this.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
