Daly Focus Blog
If you’re a stepparent, you may have discovered that blending two families is harder than you thought it would be. You’ve tried “everything” to connect with your stepchildren, but nothing bears much fruit, and you’re discouraged.
We’re offering you hope on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Staying Connected with Your Child After Divorce.” We’ve invited Lauren Reitsma to be our guest. Lauren is Vice president of Strategy and Communications for The Center for Relationship Educationin Denver, CO.
Although grandparenting is still a few years off for Jean and me, we’re both looking forward to the unexpected laughs that grandchildren bring.
Like the tea party one six-year-old held for her grandmother. After escorting grandma into the living room and offering her a seat at a table set up with a plastic tea set and snacks, they sipped their “tea” (which was actually just water) and laughed together for a half hour.
When the teapot was empty, the granddaughter announced that she was going for a refill.
Dr. Gary Chapman says one of the most sobering questions he ever asked himself was: “What if my child turns out to be just like me?”
What if they have the same work ethic that I have?
What if they handle anger the way I do?
What if they treat their spouse the way I treat mine?
What if they have the same relationship with God that I have?
Answering those questions should remind every parent that the behavior we model is more important than the words that we speak.
Jean and I have taught our boys all their lives that they won’t discover their worth in athletic abilities, academics, popularity, or anything external. Their value comes from being a child of the eternal God!
Adults need this reminder, too. It’s just as easy for us to look for security in things outside of God – a job title, a new car, a nice home, even certain relationships. It’s not always easy to break free from our pursuit of external validation and find our rest in Christ (Matthew 11:28).
What makes a man a godly dad?
You’ll hear a powerful description on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “The Legacy of a Godly Dad.”
We’re airing a touching tribute paid by Brent Reaves to his father, “Smokey” John Reaves, the founder of Smokey John’s Bar-B-Que in Dallas. The family-run restaurant has a reputation for “serving up brisket with a side of Holy Spirit.” Not only did John serve some of the best barbecue in Texas, but he often hosted worship meetings and Bible studies in his restaurant.
Have you heard of the Better-Than-Average Effect?
That’s a term that arose out of psychological studies indicating that we think of ourselves more highly than we ought to. The Better-Than-Average Effect shows up in every area of life, but one of the most common is overestimating our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health.
The trouble is, when we perceive things to be better than they really are, we’re less likely to make improvements. Instead of investing in our well-being, we put things on autopilot.
Kay Wyma is a popular author, blogger, and mother to five children. One of her friends is a human resources director who told her about a phone interview she had with a young man who had just graduated from college. Their conversation was going well until she heard the voice of the boy’s father. He was listening in and advising his son how to answer questions. Kay’s friend immediately rescinded her offer and informed the father that his twenty-something-year-old son ought to be capable of interviewing for jobs on his own.
Here at Focus on the Family, we regularly hear from parents with adult children whose lives have hit a snag because of irresponsibility or for reasons beyond their control – they don’t get accepted into college or there’s a slump in the job market. Tragically, some families endure even more serious issues. The young adult becomes a prodigal, suffers from an addiction, or chooses a lifestyle that’s contrary to the way he or she was raised.
Mom, God has wired you to love your son. Your soft, nurturing spirit is critical to his development. But as your son grows into a young man, his primary emotional need from you will become something else: respect.
Respect is what attracts guys to coaches and mentors. A growing boy needs someone who will put an arm around his shoulder and challenge his performance. Someone who will say, “I expect more out of you, and you should expect more out of yourself.” A boy needs to be challenged to rise up and win the game, to conquer the chess tournament, or to master the musical piece.
Jessie Minassian knows the struggles teenage girls face. She’s an author, a speaker, and a blogger who is passionate about mentoring young women. And she lived through some challenging teen years herself.
At one point, Jessie went through such a difficult time that she plotted to run away from home. Her plan fell apart before she even stepped outside of her house, but it was a turning point in her life. She decided that if she was going to stay, she ought to “stay well” and make the most of her time with her family.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
