Daly Focus Blog
When my son Trent was assigned his first science project in fourth grade, Jean and I agreed to let him do the project all on his own. After all, the whole point was for him to learn, right?
Apparently, not every parent shared that view.
At the end of the semester, the school held an open house, so the children could show off their work. It was pretty obvious which parents had been too involved in their child’s schoolwork.
When Dr. Kathy Koch was a child, she was swimming in a lake on a family vacation when something cut open her forehead. She made it to shore and screamed for her parents, who came running and took her to the hospital for stitches. Later, Kathy could have given in to her anxiety and stayed out of the water. Instead, she confronted her fear and overcame it.
This is how resilient people live. They don’t deny what happened, but they’re also not controlled by it.
Are your kids having trouble with their grades? Most parents facing that issue are careful to explore all the typical reasons, like study habits and the negative influence of friends. But one crucial area usually gets overlooked: the child’s learning style.
When author Cynthia Tobias was a kid, she struggled with traditional classroom-type education. Unlike her younger sister, who was a compliant and serious student, Cynthia was determined to do things her own way. Fortunately, her father was wise enough to make the most of his daughter’s learning style.
Imagine taking your four-year-old child to a nearby park. Other families greet your child, but there’s no response. Then, when it’s time to leave, your child says goodbye, but more so to the tables, and trees, and playground equipment than to the people.
Author Julie Homok described her baby girl Lizzie as happy, engaged, and developing normally. Then one day she started crawling into walls. What at first seemed like a funny accident became a disheartening realization that Lizzie was losing touch with the world around her.
Organizations like the Girl Scouts of America (GSA) used to come alongside parents in reinforcing time-honored values that gave girls and young women a solid moral foundation upon which to build their lives.
But in the 1990s, moral relativism started changing that. The word “God” was removed from the GSA’s oath. The curriculum stopped promoting traditional values. And GSA leadership began adopting a pro-homosexual political agenda.
In the midst of that turmoil, serving the GSA and the girls it represented was Patti Garibay, a local troop leader.
Parenting is the toughest job in the world.
Why?
Well, for one thing, parenting is a job you can never truly master. By the time you figure out one stage of life, your child has already moved on to the next one, and you have to start all over.
For another thing, you can never quit. You will come to the end of yourself regularly and often, but somehow, someway, you have to keep going. That small person depends on you, and God has entrusted him or her to your care.
If you’re a parent, then I know you’re busy. Your schedule is full from morning until night. Which raises an important question.
When life has you running, how do you make the most out of your time with your children?
I’ve always taken advantage of the opportunities in front of me. When my boys, Trent and Troy, were younger, I struck up thoughtful conversation every morning as I drove them to school. My relationship with them has been built largely on bike rides, four-wheeling excursions, and camping trips.
Parents often believe three common myths about discipling their children in the Christian faith:
“The perfect environment will guarantee that my child will become a Christian.”“The ultimate goal of my Christian life is to have children who follow the Lord.”“My child’s salvation is all up to me.”
The truth is discipling children isn’t like following a recipe where the right ingredients mixed together the right way guarantees success. Children have free will to embrace or reject wisdom.
Parenting each child according to his or her deepest identity is the concept outlined in Proverbs 22:6: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (ESV).
The wisdom of the verse is that every child within a family is unique. One child is a reliable, conscientious list-maker who likes things done well. Another child is rough and tumble and hangs tough through thick and thin.
When my two sons, Trent and Troy, were born, I thought Jean andI would be able to raise them the same way. Boy, was I wrong. When it came to parenting, what worked for Trent didn’t always work for Troy.
Trent and Troy share a lot of the same interests, but spend an afternoon with each of them, and you’ll discover just how different they are. Trent is thoughtful and smart, but sometimes he struggled in school.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
