Daly Focus Blog
One writer called grandparenting “the greatest job on earth, handed to you wrapped in a blanket.”
Friends and colleagues of mine who are grandparents tell me it’s a blast.
But they also tell me grandparenting can be a challenge.
Like, how do you stay connected when you live far away from your adult children and grandchildren?
Or how do you maintain a healthy relationship with your adult children? This is a new season of life for both of you.
Would you know how to answer these questions if a co-worker or a neighbor asked them?
Do all religions point to the same truth?If Christianity is the only true religion, why are there so many denominations?Why did Jesus die for our sins?
Would you know how to answer your children if they asked those questions? Answering in ways children can understand isn’t always easy.
You may feel like author Natasha Crain when she gave her four-year-old son his first swimming lesson.
The most popular word in the average parent’s vocabulary is “no.”
To be fair, it’s an important word for moms and dads. Used properly, it creates healthy boundaries for children.
But it’s easy to over-do our “no’s.” We can be too protective. Remember Dory, the fish with short-term memory loss from the animated hit movie Finding Nemo? She reminded Marlin, the dad of mis-adventurous Nemo, “You can’t never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him.”
If we build too many fences, we’re not allowing our kids to be kids or to grow.
The holidays are over, and you’re probably running at high speed in a lot of directions.
The end of the workday doesn’t mean your work is over. Somebody has to pick up the kids from soccer practice and run to the store for groceries. After that, you still have to get home and make dinner, which can take a couple of hours once you cook, eat, and clean up the mess.
Who’s got time for that?
If God is good, why does He allow evil to exist?
Maybe your kids have asked you that to see how you answer. Have you ever asked your kids that question to see how they answer?
Or how about these?
Where did the universe come from?Do science and religion contradict each other?Do all religions worship the same God?How do we know God hears and answers prayer?
Natasha Crain didn’t know how to answer such important questions.
I know of a couple whose daughter disappeared from home in a fit of rebellion on her 18th birthday. Her parents were devastated. For years, they didn’t know if she was alive or dead.
Early on, her mother made a simple decision. Every night – all night – she would turn on the porch light. It was an unspoken message to her daughter: “You’re always welcome home.”
Many nights, tears streamed down that mother’s face as she locked the front door, switched on the light, and prayed for her daughter.
Teaching character to children and motivating them to embrace change can be a challenge.
Dr. Kathy Koch says strengthening your relationship with your child is key to helping him or her to feel known and understood and to intentionally impart character qualities like resilience, humility, self-respect, respect for others, and self-control.
First, you model those qualities yourself. Then, you guide your children to interact with life in the same way. Communicating as a teacher, a coach, a cheerleader, and a referee, parents can address five core needs of a child:
Security – Who can I trust?Identity – Who am I?Belonging – Who wants me?Purpose – Why am I alive?Competence – What do I do well?
I saw a video that powerfully illustrates the incredible influence that fathers have in the lives of their daughters. It captured a dad in his living room, watching a basketball game. He jumped and yelled in support of his favorite team.
Right beside him, his three-year-old daughter copied his every move. She jumped when he jumped. She clapped when he clapped. She even copied his expressions of excitement.
Then the mood changed. The dad started shouting at the television.
Skyscrapers are amazing feats of engineering. They need to be strong enough to resist the forces that come against them, like gravity and wind. That’s why skyscrapers are built with steel.
They also need to be flexible enough to withstand the forces that come against them … like gravity and wind. That’s why architects design skyscrapers with a certain amount of sway.
Strength and softness. The two sides of a superstructure. Two sides of love as well.
Mom and Dad, are you tugboats or rudders? You can tell by the way you motivate your children.
Tugboat parents get their children going the right direction by pulling them through the water. There’s a lot of nagging, mild threats, and endless warnings against the consequences of bad choices.
Every parent has done that, I think. I know I’ve grabbed the rope and started to pull when one of my boys hasn’t made a good decision.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
