Researchers say that, on average, a person makes 35,000 decisions a day.
Coffee creamer or black?
Get out of bed now or later?
Scratch our head with our left hand or our right?
Answer our phone or not?
We make so many choices that we often don’t recognize that our ability to choose is even involved.
Like this one: loving our spouse.
We talk about love as if it’s an outside force. We say, “It was love at first sight.” Or we “fell in love.” We chalk up love to chance or chemistry instead of a conscious decision to act toward our spouse in loving ways.
The quality of our marriage at any given moment is always the culmination of little decisions that stack up over time. Big things impact a marriage, too. But most of the beauty in a relationship comes from the small choices we make every day.
Dr. Ron Welch is a clinical psychologist, who specializes in marriage and family dynamics. His wife, Jan, is a teacher who works with at-risk children. They are authors of the book 10 Choices Successful Couples Make: The Secret of a Love that Lasts a Lifetime and are with us on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “The Best Choices You Can Make for Your Marriage” to explain how simple decisions transform a marriage in big ways.
They describe a concept known as “choice theory,” which says that, because God created us in His image as free moral agents, every single situation offers us an opportunity to make a choice. That means you can choose every day to honor your spouse and treat them with love and respect in every circumstance.
Small choices add up to big results. From date nights and romantic dinners to flowers and notes on the mirror, there are hundreds of little things to choose from every day to create the marriage you want. The only limit is your imagination.
For more ideas on choosing to love your spouse, we’re offering their book 10 Choices Successful Couples Make: The Secret of a Love that Lasts a Lifetime for a gift of any amount. Click here for more information.