I first met Jean Stephens in the summer of 1985 at a wedding in California. People often say that weddings are great places to meet people (for good reason!), but at the time I wasn’t interested in finding a girlfriend. It would be nine months before our first date, but we were married in August of 1986.
I was 25 years old.
According to the social science research, is that a good age to marry? It was for me – but how about the population at-large?
Today’s broadcast guest, Focus on the Family’s own Glenn Stanton, recently studied the data and found some interesting trends. According to one report from the late Professor Norval Glenn at the University of Texas:
“The greatest likelihood of being in an intact marriage of the highest quality is among those who married at age 22-25.”
Whew! Just made it.
All kidding aside, Dr. Glenn explained that marriages formed at ages later than this fared very well in survival, but “rather poorly” in quality.
However and importantly, Professor Glenn elaborated that it would be “premature to conclude that the optimal time for first marriage for most persons is ages 22-25” because other critical factors impact risk of divorce and marital happiness as well.
Age at marriage doesn’t stand alone as a predictor of marital success. The most significant additional factors are:
• Avoiding premarital cohabitation.
• Socioeconomical considerations.
• Having parents who haven’t divorced.
• Completing your education.
• Having a general maturity and personal commitment to the idea of marital longevity.
• Having healthy marriage attitudes and behaviors modeled by both sets of parents.
• Being involved in a healthy church/faith setting that takes marriage seriously.
• Undergoing and completing meaningful premarital counseling.
Given this qualification, Professor Glenn concluded his study by stating:
“The findings of this study do indicate that for more persons, little or nothing in the way of marital success is likely to be gained by deliberately delaying marriage beyond the mid-twenties.”
Dr. W. Bradford Wilcox, a family scholar at the University of Virginia, offers some practical insight. “Couples who marry in their mid-twenties tend to do best when you combine a consideration of quality and stability,” he said. But he added, “I think couples can marry somewhat earlier than this IF they are embedded in a supportive church community that gives them direction, support and healthy role models.”
The conclusion: The 22-to-25 age-at-first-marriage range seems to be that which enhances both the quality and stability of marriage.
I find this interesting in light of cultural wisdom and trends that have significantly pushed back the average age for first marriage. In some ways, though, I’m a little hesitant to broach this subject, because I’m aware of many wonderful Christian singles beyond this “ideal” marrying age who long to wed, but haven’t yet found Mr. or Mrs. Right. To those of you I say, “Remember that the Lord is in control. He knows. He cares. He understands.”
The reality is there are a multitude of variables that determine a successful marriage. Somebody once said that any age is the ideal age to marry – as long as you find the right spouse. Another professor joked that waiting until age 80 offers the best chance of staying married for the rest of your life.
I’d welcome your thoughts and stories on this important topic.
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