The Relationship Agreement

Here’s a tip for a great marriage: have a hearty relationship agreement.

Relationship agreements were a funny plot line in the hit television show The Big Bang Theory. The lead character is Dr. Sheldon Cooper, a brilliant physicist who is so analytical that his personality and social habits are nearly robotic. In one episode, he enters into a romantic relationship with fellow academic, Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. But because Sheldon disregards human emotion in favor of logic and reason, he creates a relationship agreement – a very detailed relationship agreement. For 31 pages, every nuance of their time together is meticulously fleshed out – from rules that govern handholding to who must render aid when someone gets a “boo-boo.”

The Big Bang Theory is a sitcom, so Sheldon’s relationship agreement is ridiculously rigid, but his basic idea is a good one. Most couples need only their signatures to get married. There are no classes. No preparation. No training. Just two people who hope their feelings for each other will last. That’s why on average couples invest more time and money into planning their wedding than they do their marriage.

Getting married is easy. A healthy marriage takes effort. Although drafting a detailed contract is probably a bit much, intentionality is key. The happiest couples are those who find ways to become one and move together in the same direction.