The Secret to Connecting with Your Spouse for a Lifetime

Let me ask you this: Which part of your marriage relationship do you believe will develop the deepest intimacy?

Here are your choices:

Sexuality
Emotions
Spiritual connection

They each have their place, of course, but all things considered, spiritual connection with our spouse will create a deeper, more meaningful connection than the other two areas.

Here’s why: The benefits of spiritual intimacy naturally spill over into the other two areas. A spiritually connected couple will tend to have deeper emotional and sexual connection with one another. But those fruits don’t necessarily work the other way around.

Spiritual intimacy is at the root of what it takes for couples to “become one.” That’s a truth that traces all the way back to Genesis, when God created man and woman in His own image (1:26). Like Adam and Eve, we weren’t designed to commune only with one another. Our intimacy was intended to flow from our mutual communion with God.

Love is directional. It moves. It’s meant to be expressed outward toward others, not inward toward ourselves.

That’s why God’s purpose for marriage isn’t primarily about making us happy, although a good marriage will certainly contribute to that. It’s to help us learn to be less selfish, to teach us how to direct our love outward, and to serve our spouse as Christ loved and served us.

And with a too-high divorce rate even among believers, the sad truth is we may not have completely understood how to “love outwardly.” But we can do better.

Pastor Craig Groeschel puts it well when he says: “If you want something different than what everyone else has, you have to do something different than what everyone else does.”

The question is, how do we do that?

We’ll be discussing that with Craig on our broadcast today. Craig is a great communicator and has a unique and fun way of getting his points across – like this idea for couples I’m sure will get your attention: To build different levels of intimacy into your marriage, focus on these three areas: face-to-face, side-to-side, and belly button-to-belly button.

Face-to-face time is meaningful discussion with each other. Sharing feelings, getting below the surface, being vulnerable with one another and really exploring each other’s hearts.

Side-to-side time is doing things together. Maybe it’s going to the gym or talking while you’re out for a walk. It’s about sharing common interests.

Belly button-to-belly button time… Well, I’ll give you three guesses what that one might be about.

And, of course, the foundation for each of those relationship connectors is spiritual intimacy with God.

And that’s something Craig knows a little something about. He’s the founding and senior pastor for LifeChurch.tv, one of the country’s largest churches. His staff at LifeChurch.tv founded the popular Bible app YouVersion. If you’re not already familiar with it, you’ll be interested to know Focus on the Family has a number of devotionals published on the app. In fact, I have several devotional series of my own to choose from. I hope you’ll check them out.

While you’re there, take some extra time to explore a new initiative YouVersion is getting underway for the summer. I think you’ll be excited about it. It’s called Family Bible Week. It’s their special kick-off event to help you draw your family together around God’s Word. They’ll offer Bible reading plans, tips and articles, a special app for kids, and you can even share how your family can let God’s Word speak into your lives. For more information on how to be involved, visit their website.

But first, enjoy our conversation with Craig Groeschel and learn the secret to “Connecting with Your Spouse for a Lifetime.” Hear it on your local radio station or find the program online via our free, downloadable mobile phone app.