“We make men without chests and expect from them virtue and enterprise” – C.S. Lewis.
It’s a popular trend these days to raise boys into “nice guys.” Men are expected to be sweet and gentle – almost feminine – in the way they interact with the people around them. But I think that mentality is putting our families at risk. We don’t need more “nice” guys. We need strong men.
First of all, let me clarify. If by “nice” we’re talking about men with true character, then I’m all for that. We need guys that know how to treat their wives with love and respect and how to emotionally engage with their children.
The “being nice” I believe we could use less of are guys who have crossed a line from understanding and thoughtfulness into passivity. Passive men overlook the problems around them instead of facing them head-on.
Maybe you’ve seen guys like this. They rarely get angry or show passion for anything. At first, you think it’s because they’re so in control of their emotions. But the more you get to know them, you realize they’re simply indifferent to problems that come up.
In other words, what’s considered “nice” these days is often passivity in disguise. They lack the strength and courage to stand up against injustice or to support those in need when times get tough.
Frankly, given the state of the culture and families today, we can’t afford any more of that. Men ought to be gentle and nurturing with their wives and children, but when it’s time to protect and defend what matters, they should have the capacity to show their strength.
Author Paul Coughlin defines masculinity as “love bolstered by courage.” That characteristic was abundantly evident in Jesus. When other people were cold-hearted, He was incredibly tender, compassionate, and filled with grace. While others were cowardly and too afraid to take a stand, Jesus was as bold as a lion.
Masculinity isn’t tender or tough. It’s tender and tough. It’s why we need men of courage, not “nice” guys.
How do we get there?
That’s what we’ll be talking about today and tomorrow on our program we’ve titled “Being a Good Man, Not Just a Nice Guy” with our guest, author Paul Coughlin.
As you’ll hear, he does a wonderful job of challenging men in what it means to be a good husband and a good father by being fully emotionally engaged, loving people that are unlovable, and demonstrating God’s heart to a hurting culture.
I encourage you to join us. As always, you can listen to our conversation on your local radio station, online, or via our free, downloadable mobile phone app.
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