Daly Focus Blog
Guys, how selflessly do you love your wife? Do you have a bit too much me, myself, and I in the mix?
Here’s a quick test to find out. Imagine that you and your buddies plan a get together at your house to watch the Super Bowl. The night of the big game, everybody shows up with drinks, pretzels, and pizza. You’re just settling in for the kickoff … when the phone rings. Your wife is on the other end.
The family is under attack.
Two of the more disturbing examples are ideas that have gained acceptance more and more in recent years. The first is that dads don’t matter. The second is that kids get in the way of adult happiness. I’m here to tell you they’re both lies.
First of all, make no mistake, dads do matter. Every day at Focus, we hear from families all over the country. The stories they share confirm to me again and again just how crucial a father’s influence is in the lives of his children.
Most couples expect the skills for raising children to come to them naturally. Certain parenting instincts “kick into gear” when you become a mom or a dad, of course, but most of us are surprised by how challenging parenting can be and how much hard work and energy it requires.
It’s human nature to look for short-cuts or “formulas” to make the job easier. But there are no formulas.
God puts every parent on a journey to discover who their children are and what their children most need to become who they were designed to be.
Author and speaker Kyle Idleman has always believed that God loves the whole world (John 3:16), but Kyle never fully understood Jesus’ dedication to individuals until his 2-year-old daughter became trapped under a fallen dresser. When Kyle found her and rushed her to the hospital, his focus narrowed and he forgot about everything and everyone until he knew she was safe.
Jesus ministered to people in the same way – one person at a time.
Buffalo Bills safety Damar Hamlin remains in critical condition following his shocking collapse after an on-field cardiac arrest this past Monday night.
Dorrian Glenn, Hamlin’s uncle, told ESPN on Tuesday night that while Hamlin is sedated, he’s “improving from where he was yesterday. We are just going to continue to pray, and I know he is in great hands with the medical team he has here. They have been doing a tremendous job.”
Many of us have been praying for this young man, whose on-field talents are dwarfed by his reputation for his off-field generosity and deep Christian faith.
“My faith is in God,” he once said.
More often than we realize it’s the simple everyday things that make the biggest difference in a marriage. Here’s an easy one for you to try: Encourage your spouse to do something that’s important to them.
I had a chance to do that on a summer vacation my family took to Glacier National Park in Montana. We all hiked to a place called Hidden Lake. It was spawning season for the trout, and the bears were especially active.
As a father, I’ve enjoyed every stage of parenting. From toddlerhood to adulthood, parenting offers wonderful surprises and opportunities to learn new things about your children.
Of course, there are always challenges along the way. At its heart, parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. When you start a family, you have to be in it for the long haul.
Which is why so many parents are emotionally exhausted. They believe the secret to a successful family is trying harder and doing more.
In 1979, a passenger jet carrying 250 people left New Zealand for a sightseeing tour to Antarctica. Unknown to the pilots, their flight coordinates were off slightly, just one degree. A small error, but it put them nearly 30 miles off course by the time they reached Antarctica. Before the pilots could correct the mistake, the plane crashed into Mount Erebus killing everyone on board.
Small mistakes accumulate over time. If something is off course by just one degree, after one foot, it will miss its target by an eighth of an inch.
Julie and Clay’s first baby was due any time. To celebrate and to enjoy one last date night before the baby’s birth, Julie planned a romantic dinner. That evening, Julie was first to arrive at their favorite restaurant, and waited.
And waited.
Clay was supposed to come there straight from work, but after twenty minutes he was still a no-show.
Julie called his phone. No answer.
Thirty minutes passed.
Then an hour.
Clay and Julie eventually lost their reservation, and Julie’s expectations for the night were ruined.
First Thessalonians 5:16-18 tells us, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
Life often gets in the way of our desire to connect with Jesus as our source of contentment and joy. We get busy raising children, investing in our marriages, and building our careers. We get distracted by technology and lost in tough circumstances. Life overwhelms us, and we disconnect from God.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
