Lucille Williams was washing vomit out of her clothes when she thought, “This is marriage.”
She was on her honeymoon with her husband, Mike. It was the last night of their cruise, and they were enjoying a final dinner with friends they’d made that week. Suddenly, an unexpected bout of sea sickness hit Mike, and he began vomiting uncontrollably. Their dinner guests scrambled to get out of the way, but it was too late for Lucille. The disgusting mess splashed all over Mike, and all over her.
Later, as she scrubbed her clothes in the tiny cabin sink, she thought, “This is marriage. Your spouse’s bad stuff gets all over you, and your bad stuff gets all over them.”
That’s a discouraging message if you’re a young couple who’s about to get married. But if you can get past the vivid imagery, there’s wisdom to be found as well – namely, that if you go into marriage me-focused, your self-centeredness is going to splash all over your spouse, and you’re going to cause him or her a lot of pain.
Healthy marriages are we-focused. Typically, it’s during the engagement period that the groundwork is laid for a marriage that’s bigger than you and me. It’s about us.
When husbands and wives sacrifice for each other and live with we in mind, they discover something else Lucille has learned over the past thirty-plus years in her marriage to Mark: Spouses splash a lot of good stuff over each other as well – things like love, compassion, grace, and forgiveness.
We’re talking to Lucille Williams on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Helping Engaged Couples Become More We-Focused” on your local radio station, online, on iTunes, via Podcast, or on our free phone app, or watch the full program on our YouTube channel.
Lucille has counseled engaged couples for twenty years. We’re discussing her book, From Me to We: A Premarital Guide for the Bride- and Groom-to-Be. This book is a perfect gift to share with a young couple who’s engaged or may be thinking about marriage in the near future.
For a gift of any amount, we’ll send you a copy. We’re listener-supported and depend on your help to get this Bible-based message out! So, thank you for your generosity today.
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