Daly Focus Blog
There’s only one right answer to the question, “What do I do with a second chance?” You make the most of it.
That’s what NFL coach Mike McDaniels did. He was an assistant coach for the Houston Texans when he was fired after showing up late a second time to a 6 a.m. meeting. One minute, he was living his dream. The next, he was wondering if he’d ever get to coach in the National Football League again.
My wife and I approach recipes differently. Jean has a degree in biochemistry. She’s smart and sees life as a series of precisely calculated moves. To her, recipes are a detailed road map to be carefully followed. If the instructions call for one cup of flour, she’ll measure exactly one cup. She’ll even use a knife to scrape off the excess.
I’m more of a free spirit with recipes. I don’t see them as “a roadmap to follow” as much as “a few things to keep in mind.” I kinda, sorta measure ingredients, but not very carefully.
Here’s a tip for a great marriage: have a hearty relationship agreement.
Relationship agreements were a funny plot line in the hit television show The Big Bang Theory. The lead character is Dr. Sheldon Cooper, a brilliant physicist who is so analytical that his personality and social habits are nearly robotic. In one episode, he enters into a romantic relationship with fellow academic, Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. But because Sheldon disregards human emotion in favor of logic and reason, he creates a relationship agreement – a very detailed relationship agreement.
Dear Friends:
Nearly 60 million people tuned into last night’s presidential debate in Philadelphia between Vice President Kamala Harris, the Democrat nominee, and former President Donald Trump, the Republican candidate.
But what I’m writing to you about today is about neither political candidates nor political parties. Not even the Election. I’m reaching out to you about abortion and our ongoing quest to save preborn babies.
One of the more pointed parts of last night’s exchange involved the now half-century plus debate over the sanctity of life.
Research shows an estimated 70% of adults in the United States have experienced a traumatic event at least once in their lives. Trauma can range from divorce to abuse to a global pandemic – something we all experienced. Even everyday stress has a cumulative effect.
Dr. Gregory Jantz is founder of The Center: A Place of Hope in Edmonds, Washington, a renowned treatment center for depression. He says when his clinic opened years ago, he “didn’t fully understand that most ailments and afflictions people deal with can be traced back to trauma of some kind.
Daniel was 13 years old when he wrote a letter to his parents that he had a “great life.” A few weeks later, he was dead.
According to his letter, Daniel’s “great life” spiraled out of control right after he started junior high. Five classmates bullied him incessantly. And when Daniel tried to defend himself, fights broke out.
Daniel wrote that he had “begged and pleaded” with his teachers and the school’s principal to intervene, but they “didn’t do ANYTHING!” The school denied any wrongdoing, but the bullying didn’t stop until, sadly, Daniel ended his own life.
One busy weekday morning, author Kay Wyma was backing out of her driveway when a big truck came barreling down the road and forced her to the shoulder. Frustrated and annoyed, she took a deep breath, slowed her heart rate, and realized that she had a choice to make: she could wallow in her anger and frustration, or she could be thankful that no one, including herself, had been injured.
She chose the latter. The moment she did, Kay felt compassion for the truck driver instead of condemnation.
I don’t think I’m overstating things when I say that most men have trouble opening up emotionally. Guys put up walls around their feelings for lots of reasons, but the consequence is always the same. They’re disconnected from deeper, more meaningful experiences with their spouse, children, and friends.
Men don’t usually use the word “disconnected” to describe themselves (we prefer descriptors like “lone wolf” or the “strong, silent type”), but as Shakespeare said, “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” A disconnected man is one who is unaware that he is nonrelational, distant, and emotionally unavailable.
The next time your teenager doesn’t want to help out around the house, you’ve got an important decision to make. Do you want your child to live in a home or a hotel?
You see, a home is where a family lives. It’s where moms and dads and sons and daughters all contribute together to the running of the household in whatever way they’re capable. A hotel, on the other hand, is where people are waited on hand and foot and their every need is met.
Busyness gets rewarded.
At work.
At church.
At home.
Some of us wear busyness as a badge of honor. We don’t want our kids to miss an opportunity, so we schedule them to the max. We’re busy from sunup to sundown and get by on coffee and energy drinks. We pledge to slow down when there’s a break in the action, but there’s never a break. Something always rushes in to fill the void.
The problem with that lifestyle is it’s unsustainable.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
