Daly Focus Blog
A few weeks ago, I dedicated my blog to the subject of parenting with grace. It was based on a great conversation we had earlier this month with our broadcast guest Jeannie Cunnion, who explained the reasons why parents can’t offer their children grace if they haven’t experienced it themselves.
It was such helpful information, we recorded another program with Jeannie. This time she’ll help us rethink discipline strategies that strip our parenting of grace, rather than enhance it.
It seems like, more and more, the use of spanking as a form of child discipline is being questioned by parents. Focus on the Family recently had an opportunity to address the issue in TIME Ideas. Dr. Jared Pingleton, the director for our counseling department, wrote the piece. –JD
Spanking Can Be an Appropriate Form of Child Discipline
NFL running back Adrian Peterson’s recent arrest for allegedly abusing his 4-year-old son has once again sparked the debate over whether spanking is an appropriate form of discipline.
With school back in session in many parts of the country, it might be necessary to tweak our child’s attitude. After all, going from a life of leisure to the rigors of the classroom can be a bit jarring.
According to our counselors here at Focus, a common motivation for a child’s negativity is simply to get attention. If you suspect this is your child’s goal, there are a few ways to teach him or her not to complain.
Although he struck many of us as something of a curmudgeon, I enjoyed watching and reading Andy Rooney over the years.
Mr. Rooney lived a long and colorful life before passing away at the age of 92. Many of his newspaper columns were compiled into various books. The following essay that I’m going to excerpt, “What Every Kid Should Have Growing Up,” comes from one of his best-selling works titled Sweet and Sour.
Reading over this list, I have to admit that I wish I had all these things growing up.
It’s an unsettling trend that’s quickly gaining speed: toddlers are increasingly being prescribed drugs for attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
A recent article from the Today Show cites the number of U.S. 2- and 3-year-olds receiving the medication at 10,000.
Are these drugs necessary?
Let’s be honest: toddlers can be a rowdy bunch. It’s not easy to parent during these years and keep up with the constant running, screaming, climbing, and curiosity that’s characteristic of this age.
But when you think about it, toddlers are active because it’s their “job” to play.
The New York Times ran an interesting opinion piece this weekend: “Raising a Moral Child.” It was a good piece filled with interesting advice. The principles the author gleaned from various studies easily translated into practical action items parentscould implement in their homes:
Praise the character behind the action.
Teach children to feel guilt, not shame, when they misbehave.
Model good behavior.
And yet, something felt… incomplete. Not with the article itself, mind you – but for us as believers.
Parenting children at any stage can be a real challenge. From the toddler who throws a lay-flat-on-the-floor-and-cry tantrum to the school-age brother and sister who won’t stop fighting, parents regularly navigate a wide array of situations that require dealing with unacceptable behavior.
The Today Show recently ran an interesting post exploring a growing trend among parents to manage these discipline issues through screaming rather than spanking. Maybe this tendency is due to a growing reluctance among some moms and dads to use spanking as a tool of discipline.
This 39-second clip demonstrates the need for engaged dads more than a thousand research papers ever could.
In 1998, the Jenny Jones Show aired an episode titled “Boot Camp my Pre-Teen” featuring a former Marine trying to shape up seemingly incorrigible boys.
The show takes an unexpected twist, however, when the drill sergeant asks a 10-year-old a question:
“Do you want me to be your daddy for the next eight years, son?”
Undoubtedly, the tough Marine thinks the idea will scare the child.
Children, please turn away from the computer.
Here’s the secret: moms and dads aren’t perfect.
Sometimes we hurt our kids’ feelings with the things we say, often without even knowing it.
Authors Tim and Darcy Kimmel wanted to be sure to deal with any resentment their actions caused, so they did something brave. They created a safe opportunity for their children to be completely candid and to point out areas where mom and dad weren’t “practicing what they preached.”
It worked like this:
And this is how “What’s Your Beef?” nights began at the Kimmel home.
Has your child’s attitude soured recently?
According to our counselors here at Focus, a common motivation for a child’s negativity is simply to get attention. If you suspect this is your child’s goal, there are a few ways to teach him or her not to complain.
1. Don’t reward his negative behavior
When he starts to grumble, tell him you’re sorry he feels that way. Then go about your business.
2. Reinforce a positive outlook
If your child shows the slightest enthusiasm, give him a smile, praise him, and let him know how much you appreciate his upbeat attitude.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
