What if you and your children each spoke different languages?
Imagine the challenges. How would you communicate? How would you express your love? Even if you repeatedly said the words, “I love you,” your child might never be able to fully receive your love on an emotional level. To communicate in a way that your child understands, you would need to learn to speak his or her language.
The truth is your child does speak his or her own language. As Dr. Gary Chapman has famously written about in his Love Languages series, each child primarily responds to one of five “love languages”:
- Physical touch
- Words of affirmation
- Quality time
- Acts of service
If you speak words of affirmation when your child’s love language is quality time, your child is not as likely to receive your love on an emotional level. The same is true if you offer your child a hug when they’d rather hear, “I’m proud of you.”
I’ve learned that’s true through experience. When my son Trent was five years old, he’d turn into a cardboard cutout with his hands at his side when we hugged him. Over the years, he’s become more comfortable with physical touch, but his primary love language is words of affirmation.
On our Focus on the Family Broadcast “How to Speak Your Child’s Love Language,” Dr. Gary Chapman is with us to help you better understand how to speak your son or daughter’s love language and to fill his or her “love tank.”
The sense of belonging and feeling wanted is the most basic and important emotional need. When children feel loved, they’re much more likely to develop into a responsible, connected adults who are able to engage in healthy relationships. A child who doesn’t feel loved is more likely to be emotionally and socially challenged.
Join me for my conversation with Dr. Gary Chapman, along with my wife, Jean, as we discuss how to communicate love most effectively to your children. Tune in on your local radio station, online, on Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, or take us with you on our free phone app.
I’d like to extend an invitation for you to become a special partner with us through our monthly “Friends of Focus on the Family” program. When you do, I’ll send you a copy of Dr. Chapman’s book The Five Love Languages of Children: The Secret to Loving Children Effectively as a way of saying thank you for touching others with the love of Christ. You’ll also receive member-exclusive benefits. To make your pledge, or for more information, visit our website or call 1-800-A-FAMILY (232-6459).