Daly Focus Blog
How big is your marriage’s “joy gap”?
Dr. Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey, authors of the book The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages, describe a “joy gap” as the length of time between moments of joy. If you apply that unit of measurement to your marriage, how long has it been? Days? Weeks? Months?
Your joy gap can be especially lengthy if you’re waiting for your circumstances to change on their own, for your spouse to make you joyful, or for God to zap you with joy.
And just like that, the new year is off and running! It’s hard to believe we’ve already turned the calendar over to January, and another year is before us. But time marches on. And that’s why we need to make every moment count.
Of course, that’s what new year’s resolutions are all about, right? This is traditionally the time when we think about areas of our lives that need changing over the next twelve months, like losing weight or saving money.
Digital technology is good in many ways and can serve our families well. But when does tech become too much?
Here’s an eye-opening stat for you: research shows that children spend an average of seven hours and 22 minutes on their phones every day! That’s even more troubling when you consider that other studies show a connection between technology use and rising levels of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts in children and teens.
The question is, “What should parents do about technology, especially since it has become integral to how we manage our lives?”
On our Focus on the Family Broadcast “How to Take Your Family Through a Digital Fast,” I’m talking with author Molly DeFrank about how parents can reset technological boundaries and behaviors for their children.
On our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Understanding the Goodness of God’s Word,” our guest, author Wendy Speake, is talking about the topic of “feasting” – not on food but on Scripture.
She’s written a great book called The 40-Day Feast: Taste and See the Goodness of God’s Word about how to ingest and savor the Bible and understand God more deeply.
The idea of feasting originated in the Garden of Eden. God’s first command to Adam and Eve was to “eat of every tree of the garden” (Genesis 2:16) except one.
Lee Strobel was an investigative journalist and an atheist who set out to disprove Christianity. Instead, he discovered that the evidence for Christ’s resurrection is “strong, persuasive, powerful and based on a solid foundation of historical truth.”
Years later, in the summer of 2011, Lee was inspired to study evidence for the afterlife when he woke up in an emergency room. His wife Leslie had found him unconscious on the bedroom floor. The doctor told him, “You were one step away from a coma and two steps away from death.”
That experience spurred Lee to better understand why the fear of death drives people toward unhealthy coping mechanisms.
Did you know that the tallest sand castle ever built was as high as a six story building? In 2021, an international team of sculptors spent three and a half weeks shaping 5,000 tons of sand into a castle 70 feet high.
Some of the bystanders wondered, “Why invest all of that time, money, and hard work into something that the wind and the waves will eventually sweep away?”
That’s a good question for you and me to answer as well.
According to the National Science Foundation:
People think an average of 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day.
80% of those thoughts are negative.
And 90% of those thoughts are repetitive.
That’s why author Ted Lowe – founder and director of MarriedPeople.org, an organization dedicated to strengthening marriages – says one of the best things you can do for your marriage is to learn how to change your own mind.
Embracing a positive mindset boosts confidence, wards off depression and anxiety, and helps manage stress.
Despite what you see on commercials, Christmas isn’t about presents or a jolly old man in a red suit. It’s also not about food, festive decorations, or family get-togethers – even though those are all wonderful things. At its core, Christmas is about the birth of Jesus.
His story is the greatest ever told because it empowers us to hold on to our faith in tough times, to believe that a light of hope can still burn bright even when our world seems dark.
In 1984, Bill Goodrich attended a Christmas Eve service at his church. A choir of cognitively impaired adults from local group homes sang Christmas carols. The people around Bill thought their performance was beautiful, but Bill was troubled. A new Christian at the time, he spent the rest of the service asking the Lord why He allowed some people to suffer the way they do.
What about the people he’d met in nursing homes, for example?
As the old saying goes, “You can choose your friends but not your family.” You discover how true that is during the holidays. Spending time with family members who see the world differently than you do can be stressful.
To fill this season with joy and peace instead of frustration and conflict, here are a few ideas to keep in mind:
First, try these three magical words: “Tell me more.” Argumentative people are less likely to escalate if they feel heard.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
