Daly Focus Blog
As a boy, I spent time in foster care then lived with my dad for a while. He hadn’t been a part of my life for years, but for that short season he tried to be a real father to me. Since he didn’t know how to connect with me through conversation, he showed me affection the only way he could: he cooked.
One Saturday morning, he slid some bacon and eggs in front of me, and I noticed a yellow spreading across the plate.
Fifteen years into their marriage, an otherwise normal lunch date between Carey and Toni Nieuwhof turned into a disastrous argument.
As they remember it now, Carey complained about something, which triggered Toni to shut down, which compelled Carey to persist in his argument, which escalated Toni’s emotions until she exploded in anger. By the end of the lunch, Toni was so frustrated that she threw her wedding ring at him and said, “I don’t want this anymore.”
It’s heartbreaking to see married couples reach a point of desperation and hopelessness.
Our guest on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “A Legacy of Music and Trusting the Lord” is Christian singer Larnelle Harris, whose music career has spanned five decades and earned him five Grammy Awards and 11 Dove Awards.
His life of faith and music all started with his piano teacher, Ms. Georgie, who encouraged him to believe in his voice and to use it for God’s glory. She once told Larnelle, “You can do this.
Would you like to see more joyful obedience from your children?
Author Arlene Pellicane offers eight key strategies that will set your kids up to succeed:
Amusement is not the highest priority. Your life should not revolve around entertaining your child.
Parents call the shots. You are the leader, not your child.
Routine and boundaries provide security. Kids thrive with guidelines and guardrails.
It’s best to weave the Bible and prayer into the fabric of daily life, not reserve it for Sundays.
Married couples need to spend one-on-one time together to be healthy. But they also need a community of couples who positively influence their relationship.
Your marriage is not an island. You need to interact with other couples – to invest in their lives and for them to invest in yours. This is especially important because so many people live far away from members of their extended family and can’t benefit from their influence. If you don’t have family support, the influence of good friends is invaluable.
Do you get along with your in-laws?
If you catch yourself snickering at that question, who could blame you? In-law jokes (particularly about mothers-in-law) are a mainstay of modern comedy routines and a common stereotype in movies and television shows. But within every joke there is a kernel of truth. And the truth here is that in-law relationships can be difficult.
What’s the best way to work through this delicate area of marriage?
Jean and I don’t have a great deal of experience in this area.
If you’re the parent of young children, maybe you’ll relate to this scenario.
Amy Davison’s children were watching a cartoon about a girl who had a crush on one of her classmates. Throughout the episode, she put love notes in the classmate’s locker. At the end, when the show revealed that the locker belonged to another girl, Amy’s ten-year-old daughter turned and asked, “Wait, what just happened? Does she like girls?”
And just like that, Amy was forced to have a conversation with her young child about the LGBT world.
Researchers say that, on average, a person makes 35,000 decisions a day.
Coffee creamer or black?
Get out of bed now or later?
Scratch our head with our left hand or our right?
Answer our phone or not?
We make so many choices that we often don’t recognize that our ability to choose is even involved.
Like this one: loving our spouse.
We talk about love as if it’s an outside force. We say, “It was love at first sight.” Or we “fell in love.” We chalk up love to chance or chemistry instead of a conscious decision to act toward our spouse in loving ways.
I’ve known a lot of guys who think nurturing children is mom’s job, not dad’s. Fatherhood should be about strength, they say.
I agree, but instead of picturing a bouquet of flowers, picture a mighty oak tree. It’s the tree’s strength that allows it to provide and protect and nurture the wildlife around it.
That’s fatherhood. Nurturing dads have strong character, but a gentle spirit that enables them to handle discipline issues without criticizing or being harsh.
When should a parent decide, “My child is old enough to live completely free of my influence”?
By the way, “Never!” is not a good answer.
Children on their way to adulthood have always struggled for independence against their parents. What’s changed is how parents view childhood between the ages of 13 and 20.
The concept of “adolescence” has only been around for 100 years or so. The terms “adolescent” and “teenager” were first used around 1941.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
