Daly Focus Blog
More often than we realize it’s the simple everyday things that make the biggest difference in a marriage. Here’s an easy one for you to try: Encourage your spouse to do something that’s important to them.
I had a chance to do that on a summer vacation my family took to Glacier National Park in Montana. We all hiked to a place called Hidden Lake. It was spawning season for the trout, and the bears were especially active.
As a father, I’ve enjoyed every stage of parenting. From toddlerhood to adulthood, parenting offers wonderful surprises and opportunities to learn new things about your children.
Of course, there are always challenges along the way. At its heart, parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. When you start a family, you have to be in it for the long haul.
Which is why so many parents are emotionally exhausted. They believe the secret to a successful family is trying harder and doing more.
In 1979, a passenger jet carrying 250 people left New Zealand for a sightseeing tour to Antarctica. Unknown to the pilots, their flight coordinates were off slightly, just one degree. A small error, but it put them nearly 30 miles off course by the time they reached Antarctica. Before the pilots could correct the mistake, the plane crashed into Mount Erebus killing everyone on board.
Small mistakes accumulate over time. If something is off course by just one degree, after one foot, it will miss its target by an eighth of an inch.
Julie and Clay’s first baby was due any time. To celebrate and to enjoy one last date night before the baby’s birth, Julie planned a romantic dinner. That evening, Julie was first to arrive at their favorite restaurant, and waited.
And waited.
Clay was supposed to come there straight from work, but after twenty minutes he was still a no-show.
Julie called his phone. No answer.
Thirty minutes passed.
Then an hour.
Clay and Julie eventually lost their reservation, and Julie’s expectations for the night were ruined.
First Thessalonians 5:16-18 tells us, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
Life often gets in the way of our desire to connect with Jesus as our source of contentment and joy. We get busy raising children, investing in our marriages, and building our careers. We get distracted by technology and lost in tough circumstances. Life overwhelms us, and we disconnect from God.
Do you want to do something great, something that will change the world? The best way to achieve that may be to think small.
I remember a camping trip my family took many summers ago. We’d no sooner arrived at the campsite, when my boys leapt from the car and grabbed handfuls of rocks to throw into a nearby pond. My oldest son, Trent, muscled the largest stones he could find into the water. The bigger the splash, the bigger he wanted the next rock to be.
Most couples don’t realize how simple it can be to make a good marriage great. Or to infuse a struggling marriage with new life. To make your marriage better, give these three ideas a try.
The first idea is to avoid sarcasm. The word “sarcasm” means “to tear flesh.” Sarcasm strips a joke of its humor and replaces it with anger, resentment, and jealousy. There’s a thorn beneath the laugh that cuts people. Instead of sarcasm, season your words with love and respect.
At what age would you say children become adults? Sixteen? Eighteen? Twenty-one?
Answers among parents likely vary widely. Psychologist, author, and expert in adolescent and family relationships, Dr. Ken Wilgus, says adulthood isn’t a moment in time as much as a process of growth he calls “Progressive Emancipation.”
He encourages parents to think of their teenagers as adults in training. Teens, he says, are not big children; they are young adults. Around age 13, childhood comes to its natural end, but that doesn’t mean that your job as a parent is over.
My friend and former colleague, Tom Minnery, passed away unexpectedly on Christmas Eve.
Although now living in Ohio, Tom and his wife, Deb, were in New Mexico for Christmas with their family. Tom slipped on some ice and sustained a massive head injury. He entered Glory in the early evening.
Tom was a familiar voice to the Focus on the Family constituency, especially with his monthly column in Citizen Magazine, a periodical he helped launch in 1987, and which he served as editor-in-chief.
My friend Matt learned the hard way how important other people can be to our lives.
In college, he pulled into a convenience store, threw open the door, and ran inside for a quick purchase. Unfortunately, he didn’t quite get his Chevy into park. It clicked out of gear, rolled backwards into a pole, and bent Matt’s open door completely in the opposite direction.
Instead of asking someone for help, he pounded his door shut with a sledgehammer.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
