Jim Daly

Lisa and Theo made an appointment with counselor Debra Fileta to discuss their marriage because Lisa didn’t understand why Theo wouldn’t emotionally open up to her. She interpreted his behavior as evidence that he didn’t really love her.

Debra saw something different. She recognized Theo’s behavior as a deficit of skill, not love. He loved Lisa but lacked the tools he needed to express it.

Debra sees similar trouble in a lot of relationships. Couples lack a practical understanding of how to allow God’s love to flow through them toward the people closest to them.

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Maybe you’re like many Christian parents who want their kids to have a strong faith in God but don’t know how to help them develop one. Taking your kids to church and youth group is a great start, but the most significant spiritual influence in your child’s life is you.

One of the most meaningful ways parents can pass on their faith is through simple family devotions. While that idea may stir up even more uncertainty, let me assure you that there’s no one “right way” to do it.

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We’re all running as fast as we can. Mostly by choice. It’s hard to slow down when society rewards us for being on the go all day, every day. It’s also hard to work full time, build a strong marriage, and raise a family. Some days it’s all we can do to keep up with life’s demands.

The problem isn’t just busy schedules, it’s busy hearts and minds as well. We’re so anxious and stressed out that we’re less likely to notice the fragrance of a flower, the joy of a child’s laughter, or the soul of our spouse.

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According to Dr. Kevin Leman’s The Birth Order Book, a common but often overlooked reason many couples don’t see eye to eye is birth order. That little boy or girl that you once were, you still are.

Your birth order creates a dynamic relationship between you and your parents, and between you and your siblings. Your birth order influences how you see relationships and, therefore, your marriage.

For example, Dr. Leman says firstborns are typically:

• Reliable and conscientious.

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Gabe and Rebekah Lyons have a happy, healthy marriage – but they had to fight for it. They met in college and, over three decades, raised four children – including two with Down syndrome. They pursued their relationship with intentionality and purpose, which anchored them while navigating cross-country moves, personal battles with panic disorders and depression, and the challenges balancing ministry and family life. Along the way, they learned how to deepen their intimacy and strengthen their bond.

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If you’re a parent, then you’re busy. Your schedule is full from morning until night.

Which raises an important question: When life has you running, how do you make the most of your time with your children?

I’ve always tried to take advantage of the opportunities in front of me. When my boys, Trent and Troy, were young, I struck up thoughtful conversations with them every morning as I drove them to school. Our relationship has been built largely by bike rides, four-wheeling excursions, and camping trips.

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The longer I’ve been married, the more I’ve realized that it’s not big things that make or break a marriage. It’s little things. Sure, problems like infidelity, addiction, or abuse can devastate a relationship and are not to be underestimated. But, in most cases, the difference between healthy and unhealthy couples is they’ve learned the secret of serving each other by performing a multitude of small, simple gestures that show affection and devotion to one another.

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If you’re a parent, you’re surely familiar with the word “no” – and for good reason. Children love to test the limits.

When our boys, Trent and Troy, were young, they were determined to go faster, higher, and farther. If one dessert was good, two was better. Instead of watching one movie, they’d want a double feature. If their bedtime was 9 o’clock, they’d push for 10.

Since children can’t resist climbing trees or splashing in mud puddles in their new shoes, the word “no” is a vital tool.

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