Daly Focus Blog
Stepfamilies exist for different reasons. Sometimes as a result of marriage after divorce… sometimes because of a marriage after the death of a spouse. Sometimes the stepfamily happens because a baby or child born out-of-wedlock creates a blended family after the marriage takes place.
Whatever the reason, we know this is true: in addition to the issues all families face – the sibling rivalry, economic issues, the occasional spat – stepfamilies often have some added challenges to overcome.
His marriage was dead. It was past acrimony and fighting. Comedian Jeff Allen and his wife, Tami, were at a stage of apathy.
After years of his alcoholism and fits of rage, it got to the point where Tami always had her back to Jeff.
Finally, one night, Jeff and Tami were in bed when he tried to talk with her – except she refused to turn around.
“No, please,” she said.
“What’s the problem?” Jeff inquired.
Mary Hunt was cheating on her husband. Her tryst, though, wasn’t with another man – but it had the power to destroy the marriage just the same.
The secret Mary hid from her husband was about her financial infidelity – to the tune of $100,000 in credit card debt.
Money problems are one of the leading causes of divorce in our nation. Granted, most couples don’t carry a credit burden as deep as Mary and her husband’s.
Earlier this week we aired a broadcast dealing with a difficult and sensitive issue: how can a man and woman who are divorced co-parent their children successfully?
It can be a challenging issue to navigate. We know God’s heart is for marriage and divorce is outside His intent. That’s why we encourage couples in crisis to do everything they can to work out differences through prayer, counseling and community support.
However, the reality remains that sometimes, divorce happens.
Exceptions to the norm naturally surprise us, like when we hear about a marriage of 40-plus years ending in divorce.
Do you know somebody who for no good reason has decided to walk away from their marriage of longstanding?
According to the research, approximately 4% of marriages that make it to 40 years will eventually end in divorce.
What would cause somebody to give up on their spouse after so many years together?
I think a lot of it is caused by the modern nature of marriage.
Do you use Facebook?
There’s a new survey out this week suggesting that the popular social networking site is a major factor in 1 out of 5 U.S. divorces.
Are you surprised?
Before going any further, let’s be clear:
Facebook doesn’t cause divorce – people do.
But …
Over the years, the evolution of technology has always facilitated marital infidelity, at least for those so inclined. When the telephone was first invented, people were suddenly able to talk instantly with another person in a different locale.
I last shared Dr. Gottman’s six predictors of marital success and happiness. Here now are his top warning signs of coming marital strife:
1. Harsh Start of Arguments
The partner who starts the argument is aggressive or hostile, is insulting, attacks his partner’s character, uses sarcasm, shows contempt or disgust—all of which lead to escalation or withdrawal.
2. Criticism
Attacking character or traits, instead of addressing the problem specifically.
3. Contempt
Disgust, disrespect, condescension, sarcasm, eye-rolling.
Are you living a fulfilled life? Are you content where you are?
Those always seem like good questions to ponder, but I think they’re especially relevant in light of the recent news concerning Al and Tipper Gore’s marital separation. Please stay with me here. I don’t read the gossip columns nor do I spend time reading the tabloids. But I do try and make sense of the times in which we live and, as such, I’m always processing what I see and hear.
There’s a difference between being a collector and a pack rat. Whether it’s baseball cards or classic cars, collectors are interested in specific items of interest, value, or vintage. And while they collect things, they’re quick to sell or trade or toss items as needed.
Pack rats, on the other hand, are a different breed. They’re interested in saving everything—forever. Their compulsive hoarding frequently involves stuff most folks understand is worthless—like 6-foot-high stacks of old yellowed newspapers and magazines, or mountains of old clothes that no longer fit bulging from closets or displayed on rows of racks in a back room as if it were Wal-Mart.
Although football has always been my passion, I also love the game of baseball. The late Bart Giamatti, Major League baseball’s former commissioner and a clear romantic of the sport, did too. He once lamented the end of the season in near-poetic terms. Here is what he wrote:
It [baseball] breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
