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How to Fight Fair

Dr. John Gottman and his researchers can predict with almost 95-percent accuracy whether a couple’s marriage will succeed or fail. Their predictions are based on how couples fight – not how frequently or even the content of their disagreements – but how couples actually engage in conflict. They discovered four elements to conflict – which Dr. Gottman calls “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” – that are destructive to a relationship:

Criticism

Defensiveness

Contempt

Stonewalling

If the Four Horseman mean certain destruction, how can couples avoid them?

Topics: Current Events Tags: marriage July 8, 2025 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

Discovering God’s Design for Your Marriage

Howard and Danielle Taylor’s relationship is evidence that a biblical understanding of the purpose for marriage is the best foundation for weathering the rough seasons of life.

Danielle didn’t grow up in the church and Howard was raised without a dad. Both adopted unhealthy cycles of relationship they’d learned from their parents. The result was not harmony and intimacy, but arguments, stress and conflict.

Over time, they learned new patterns of relating and communicating with each other, all rooted in a biblical understanding of marriage.

Topics: Uncategorized Tags: faith, marriage June 6, 2025 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

The Four Seasons of Intimacy in Marriage

What “season” of intimacy is it for your marriage? Is it summer because things between you and your spouse are sizzling? Or has winter settled in where your relationship feels a bit chilly?

Weather is a helpful metaphor for marriage because, like the weather, relationships change. Yes, that means a season of warmth and excitement can become cold and mundane. But it also means a relationship that feels icy and distant can become a season of new beginnings and growth.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: faith, marriage May 23, 2025 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

How Love Styles Can Help You Grow Closer as a Couple

Over the years, I’ve discovered how my interactions with my wife are shaped by experiences from my childhood – for good or for bad.

Maybe you’ve discovered the same thing. You have buried anger that’s seeping into your marriage relationship. Or you’re a loner who refuses help from anyone. Or you’re a people pleaser who tries to make everybody happy.

These attitudes may seem normal, but they create friction in a marriage. Some couples are so accustomed to their unhealthy patterns that they become trapped in a “conflict loop” where they routinely trigger each other without recognizing that they’re doing it.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: family, marriage May 13, 2025 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

Practical Ideas for Loving Your Wife

Over the years, loving my wife has most often expressed itself in small ways. Like when our boys were young and full of energy. Some nights I’d come home after a long, busy day at work, and Jean would meet me at the door with Trent and Troy – 5 and 3 years old at the time – and say, “Take them.”

Jean and I were both desperate for a recharge after a long day, but in that moment, there was only room for one of us to take a breather.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: faith, marriage May 8, 2025 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

Cracks of Busyness

Bob and Audrey wanted to change the world. They got married and hit the ground running. Within a few years, they had three kids. They worked at the local and the national level to strengthen families. They were well known in the community. And they were busy. Really busy. Not only did they not see that as a problem, they saw it as a mindset. Every moment was an important opportunity to reach somebody that needed help.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: family, marriage April 30, 2025 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

Don’t Flush Your Marriage

I came home from work about a year after my wife Jean and I got married and found her in the bathroom crying. I was worried she was having second thoughts about our relationship, but when I asked her what was wrong, she said, “I flushed my wedding ring down the toilet.” Back then, she kept her jewelry in a basket behind the toilet, and she’d hit the flusher and the basket at the same time.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage April 2, 2025 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

Secrets to a Strong and Happy Marriage

When Trey and Lea Morgan started dating, they’d grab fast food, a blanket and talk for hours. Then, after they each went home, they’d call each other and talk some more. Now, years into their marriage, they wonder what they could have possibly talked about for so long.

Although their quantity of conversation has changed, they’ve always maintained quality. They understand that strong marriages are no accident; they’re cultivated.

Trey and Lea Morgan have been involved in marriage ministry and coaching for over 30 years and are co-hosts of the Stronger Marriage with Trey and Lea Morgan podcast.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: faith, marriage April 1, 2025 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

Restoring Your Marriage After an Affair

Infidelity is one of the top reasons why marriages end in divorce. That should come as no surprise. It’s hard to repair the gaping wounds that an affair rips into a relationship. Many couples choose to walk away. Even Christians often view infidelity as a “get out of jail free card.”

Josh and Katie Walters know firsthand the betrayal and devastation of infidelity. They now serve on staff at Seacoast Church, a multi-campus ministry in South Carolina, but six years into their marriage, Katie confessed that she was having an affair with one of Josh’s best friends.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: faith, marriage March 14, 2025 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

Marriage is a Team Sport

The secret to winning in a team sport is no secret at all. Teammates share a common goal, and they work together to achieve it.

That commitment to unity is what makes marriage work, too. Working together as a team isn’t always easy. Joshua and Christi Straub are both experienced counselors, but even they overlook the importance of teamwork from time to time. Like the day Joshua came home and told Christi about all of the exciting projects he had going on at work.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage March 13, 2025 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

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Jim-Daly Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.

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