Daly Focus Blog
Fire can cook you a nice steak, or it can burn your house to the ground. The difference lies in how well you harness its power.
It’s the same with a strong-will. There is a lot of good that comes from having what LeRoy and Kimberly Wagner describe as a “fierce” personality. But a strong-will gone wild can wreak havoc in a person’s life.
Fierce doesn’t have to mean obnoxious, loud, or rude. A fierce woman can be strong and beautiful.
What’s your EQ?
Your IQ is a measure of your intelligence. Your EQ is a measure of your “emotional intelligence.”
The term was coined in 1995 by Daniel Goleman, who first applied the concept to businessmen and women. He described emotional intelligence as the degree to which you understand your own emotions, the emotions of others, and can make healthy relational choices as a result. The concept eventually spilled outside the business world into other arenas.
Marital relationship studies generally examine the factors that contribute to the downfall of a marriage. One revolutionary study took an opposite approach. It followed 373 happy, successful couples for 22 years and looked at what went right.
One of the pivotal conclusions the study reached was that couples enjoyed higher marital satisfaction when wives affirmed their husbands. That’s a simple enough premise, but it can be surprisingly difficult for many women to do.
Christian women desire to be good wives and desire to connect with their husbands.
“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you” (Matthew 6:33, ESV).
If you’re single, have you ever applied that verse to your dating relationships and search for a godly spouse?
Many Christian singles seek the same things in a mate as non-Christian singles. They focus on whether or not they’re attracted to one another, share common interests, enjoy each other’s company, or even if they share sexual chemistry.
Remember when you were first married? You and your spouse talked, had fun every weekend, and always seemed to have time for one another.
Then you became parents.
Now it seems every moment is busy with sports practice, dentist appointments, and school programs. Once a couple has children, it can be tough to fit each other in. Their marriage routinely gets pushed down the priority list.
It seems justifiable in the moment because parenting does require a lot from parents.
Chocolate was a symbol of how bad Sandy and Tom’s marriage had become.
They were in a drive-thru ordering food, and Sandy asked for a chocolate shake. Tom said “no” and forced her to reorder. Vanilla, he believed, was the better choice. He was convinced chocolate would make her face break out and cause her to gain weight.
Tom didn’t realize it at the time, but the problem wasn’t chocolate, it was control. To get the marriage he was after, Tom thought he had to rule with an iron fist.
The 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation is fast approaching. On Reformation Day, we remember how Martin Luther, a German monk, nailed his 95 Theses on the door of a Wittenberg church on Oct. 31, 1517.
But while Martin Luther is closely associated with his opposition to selling indulgences – monetary payments to receive forgiveness for sin – fewer people today know he was also instrumental in helping change the way Christians look at marriage.
Before the Reformation took place, celibate service to God was often seen as the highest calling.
Proverbs 19:15 says, “Slothfulness casts into a deep sleep, and an idle person will suffer hunger” (ESV).
Second Thessalonians 3:10 says, “If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat” (ESV).
Those Scriptures and others warn us against laziness. God expects us to work and blesses us through it.
Some of us overcorrect and swing to the other extreme. The busier the better.
If “idle hands are the devil’s workshop” then busyness is his playground.
There’s a reason so many couples have a hard time resolving marital conflict. When a disagreement erupts, they immediately sit down, start talking, and try to work out their differences.
Kinda sounds like the correct thing to do, doesn’t it? But according to my colleague, Dr. Greg Smalley, that’s the “absolute worst” thing you could do. Working through a disagreement with your spouse is part of the equation, but it’s not the place to begin.
Jesus laid out the proper path of reconciliation in Matthew 7:3 (ESV): “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?”
Tempers can flare and hearts can close in the midst of conflict.
When it comes to marriage, Bob Kraning and his wife, Carol, have got the experience that counts. In May, they celebrated 60 years as husband and wife.
Whenever I hear about a couple like that, I can’t help but wonder, “What’s their secret?”
Bob provides some of the answers in a recorded message called “Twenty-Five Years and Still in Love.” Their “secrets” are actually timeless truths available to all of us. That’s why this program has been a blessing to countless marriages for the nearly 30 years we’ve been airing it.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
