Daly Focus Blog
Most of us
have spent a lot more time at home than we would have imagined possible a few
weeks ago. The good news is that we’ve gotten plenty of extra time in close
quarters to spend with our spouse.
The bad
news … is that we’ve gotten plenty of extra time in close quarters to spend
with our spouse!
When
people are thrown together in stressful situations, the good and the bad
eventually bubble to the surface.
We’re
several weeks into the coronavirus outbreak, and by now you’ve memorized a
dozen methods for keeping your body’s immune system strong.
But what are
you doing to keep your marriage strong?
When we’re
stressed, we strike out at the people closest to us, namely our spouse and children.
That’s especially true when you’re cooped up together under quarantine. Good
marriages can be strained, and bad marriages can be stressed to their breaking
point.
A couple’s
differences can either serve as triggers for conflict or as points of tension that
can strengthen the relationship.
Is it possible to enjoy an argument-free marriage?
Author Fawn Weaver says that you can.
Now, before you dismiss her vision for marital bliss
too quickly, give her a chance to explain. She’ll tell you plainly that building
an argument-free marriage takes some grit. Ironically, couples don’t find
harmony by striving for peace at all costs. They don’t avoid serious
conversations or sweep important issues under the rug, either.
You eliminate arguments through effective
communication that gets to the truth of a matter and that offers genuine
solutions.
Home improvement is more popular than ever.
Well, for a lot of you, anyway. I have to be honest. Home renovation scares the daylights out of me. To say I don’t have an aptitude for it is an understatement.
A few years ago, Jean and I had a contractor come to our home to assess some water damage. Water got inside one of our window wells after the cover peeled away. The guy looked things over and said, “This is a simple fix.
Skyscrapers are amazing feats of engineering. They have to be strong enough to resist the forces that come against them, like gravity and wind. That’s why skyscrapers are built with steel.
They also need to be flexible enough to withstand the forces that come against them … like gravity and wind. That’s why architects design skyscrapers with a certain amount of sway.
Strength and softness. The two sides of a superstructure. The two sides of love as well.
Do you have a “barely enough” marriage?
Would you like to have one that is “filled to the brim”?
John 2:1-11 tells the story of the wedding at Cana, where Jesus turned water into wine. A marriage celebration was underway, and the host ran out of wine. At the urging of his mother, Jesus instructed the servants to fill six stone jars, each holding twenty to thirty gallons of water.
The passage says that the servants filled the pots “to the brim.” Those three words offer a revealing insight into the approach God wants us to take in our relationships.
Did you get married to work a job? To do laundry? To pay bills?
Of course not. Yet, most of us wind up with marriages in exactly that kind of “ho-hum” condition. Sooner or later, the euphoria of the wedding ceremony fades away and life settles into a daily grind of often-mundane activity. Careers are chased, children are born, and ever-larger homes are purchased. Or newer and newer cars sit outside of garages filled to the roof with stuff we’ll never use.
If your marriage is in trouble, I have one question: Do you believe God can work a miracle in your relationship?
If your answer is no, I encourage you to tune into our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Strengthening Your Marriage Through Daily Choices” to hear the story of Ron and Jody Zappia.
It’s an understatement to say that they had a very shaky start to their marriage. Within the first six months, Jody was overcommitted in her career, and Ron had an affair with a co-worker.
Today, I’ve got a simple idea that will help you build a great marriage. It’s fun, too.
Laugh together.
Studies show that couples who laugh are healthier, happier, and more connected to each other. Even little giggles between you and your spouse can play a meaningful part in creating bonds that you’ll share forever.
That’s because laughter is a powerful connecter. In fact, at its heart, laughter is mostly about connection. It’s only partially about humor. Studies show that we laugh more when we’re with other people than when we’re alone.
Sex is the one activity that differentiates marriage from every other relationship. You can have a great conversation with a friend. You can have lunch with a co-worker. You can go on vacation with a family member. But if you’re following God’s design for relationships, sex is only rightly expressed through marriage.
Milan and Kay Yerkovich say that dynamic is hugely consequential to a couple’s relationship when they can’t negotiate their sex life in healthy ways.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
