For a stronger marriage, ask yourself, “What’s my EQ?”

While your IQ is a measure of your intelligence, your EQ is a measure of your “emotional intelligence.”

That term was coined in 1995 by Daniel Goleman, who first applied the concept to businessmen and women. As he defined it, emotional intelligence is the degree to which you are able to make healthy relational choices based on your understanding of your emotions and those around you. The concept eventually spilled outside of the business world into other arenas.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage May 24, 2021 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

Infidelity is a mirage.

It promises fulfillment. It delivers heartache and tragedy. Not only is the rush of excitement short-lived, but it is quickly replaced by long-lasting and devastating consequences.

When an affair is exposed, the betrayal is often so deep that couples rush to divorce. But ending your marriage in the wake of infidelity isn’t the simple solution people assume. It often replaces one set of problems with another.

Reconciliation can create long-term resolution. Research shows us that couples who are willing to work through betrayal and pain with godly forgiveness can eventually rebuild their relationship.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage May 19, 2021 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

Author Gary Thomas thought he had a pretty good marriage. Then God reminded him of the pledge he’d made to his wife at their wedding, a pledge you probably made as well if you used traditional vows.

It’s this: “I promise to love and to cherish you until death do us part.” Gary now admits that the moment he said those words at the altar was the last time he considered the word “cherish” in terms of his marriage.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage May 14, 2021 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

When Jean and I first entered premarital counseling, we knew that we were meant for each other. We enjoyed most of the same things and were alike in almost every way.When we finished our last session a week later, that had all changed. We were both thinking, “Wow, we are nothing alike!” And we were wondering, “Are we going to be okay?”

At some point, every couple recognizes their differences, and something strange happens when they do: The whole idea of “two becoming one” gets turned into, “My spouse should become more like me.”

When author and blogger Melanie Shankle realized how different she and her husband were, she had a revelation.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage May 3, 2021 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

I have an outstanding set of tools in my garage. My brother and brothers-in-law are jealous of my collection. I have hammers, a circular saw, a miter saw, a router … everything I need for a decent workshop.

The trouble is, I’m not much of a handyman. That circular saw … I’ve never used it. And the router? I’m not entirely sure what it’s for. I never really learned how to use all of those tools.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage April 26, 2021 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

Do you believe that God can save a marriage – any marriage?

Patricia Ashley didn’t always think so. At one time, her marriage to Vernon was dead. She says, “I didn’t love my husband. I didn’t hate him. I wasn’t glad to see him come. I wasn’t glad to see him go. It didn’t make a difference what time he came in or if he came in at all. It was dead.”

They were isolated from each other.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage April 21, 2021 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura

How big is your marriage’s “joy gap”?

Dr. Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey, authors of the book The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages, describe a “joy gap” as the length of time between moments of joy.

If you apply that unit of measurement to your marriage, how long has it been? Days? Weeks? Months?

Your joy gap can be especially lengthy if you’re waiting for your circumstances to change, for your spouse to make you joyful, or for God to zap you with joy.

Topics: Family and Home Tags: marriage March 29, 2021 by Jim Daly with Paul Batura