Daly Focus Blog
If you’re married, chances are you’ve encountered some challenges when it comes to sleeping together – and I don’t mean that kind of “sleeping together.” I mean getting some actual shut-eye.
Who can sleep through loud snoring, after all?
Or perhaps you’re married to someone who can’t stay still – there’s tossing, turning, and even “stealing” the blanket.
What about those couples who have mismatched sleep patterns or preferences – the night-owl who marries the early-bird?
Conflict over finances can be hard on a marriage. In fact, research shows that couples who argue about money are nearly twice as likely to divorce as those who don’t.
The answer to that dilemma should be easy then, right? Just manage your finances better.
But a lot of couples are surprised to learn that poor money habits are only one part of their trouble. The other part is usually the marriage itself.
Money puts stress on fractures that already exist in a marriage.
Lorain had a passion for helping couples thrive in their marriages.
For 52 years, she crisscrossed the state of Oklahoma with her husband, Homer, as he preached from church to church. Along the way she came up with a succinct formula for marital happiness. Here’s her recipe for a happy marriage:
1 cup consideration
1 cup courtesy
2 cups praise
2 cups flattery carefully concealed
2 cups milk of human kindness
1 gallon faith in God and each other
1 small pinch of in-laws
1 reasonable budget
1 cup contentment
A generous dash cooperation
2 children (at least)
1 cup confidence and encouragement (for each)
1 large or several small hobbies
1 cup blindness to the other’s faults
Flavor with frequent portions of recreation and a dash of happy memories.
“Here’s the story of a lovely lady, who was bringing up three very lovely girls…”
Most of you could probably finish that theme song from memory. The Brady Bunch was the quintessential television family of the early 1970’s, largely because of its wholesome, albeit simplistic, portrayal of blended families.
In the world of television sitcoms, problems are cleanly resolved by the end of each 30-minute episode. But let’s face it, rebuilding a family is rarely as simple as Mike and Carol Brady made it appear.
The differences that nearly ended their marriage were woven into their DNA.
By his own admission, he grew up a pampered Hollywood child actor. She was from a hard-working middle class family in upstate New York and later became an actress herself.
The external pressures they faced were immense as well. No city can exploit a couple’s differences quite like Hollywood. So when actors Kirk and Chelsea Cameron married in 1991, they committed to building a life together in a place notorious for tearing them down.
For many couples, marriage is mostly about the kids.
Well-meaning moms and dads spend so many years completely devoted to the task of raising their children that they often forget to be husband and wife. It’s a situation that may be manageable while the kids are still at home and there’s enough work to “float” the relationship along – but it can become unbearable after the kids move out.
That’s what puts empty-nest marriages at higher risk for dissatisfaction – and even divorce.
True love can stand the tests of time and illness.
Meet Bill and Glad Forward, a couple you won’t soon forget. Glad has advanced Alzheimer’s, and the love Bill shows to his precious bride of 50 years is beautiful. “I count it a great privilege to care for this woman I’ve loved all these years,” Bill explains in this touching video. “She has done so much for me over these years. Now she can’t, but I can.”
It’s a love so sincere and so humble it’s almost impossible to watch without tearing up:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzYVQxZDlAs
Today’s broadcast highlights another such love story where a husband cares for his wife with Alzheimer’s.
The landscape of marriage in our country has experienced seismic shifts in recent decades.
In the 1970s, 89 percent of babies were born to a married couple. Today, that number is around 60 percent. And in 1960, about 72 percent of adults were married. That has now dropped to about 50 percent.
Culture has changed, and views about marriage reflect those changes. It should come as no surprise, then, that marriage is largely seen through a consumer-driven mindset.
Several years ago, Christianity Today ran an article suggesting I was waving the white flag of surrender on biblical marriage in the culture.
I wasn’t waving a white flag at all. I was simply saying that, if you look at the statistics, a growing number of people under 40 – both Christian and non-Christian – now support same-sex marriage. That entire demographic has emerged as a motivated voter block. I felt then that this cultural viewpoint would win the day in the fight to redefine marriage, and daily news headlines over the past year have only validated my concerns.
The latter half of marriage ought to be a couple’s golden years, but quite often it’s dull, disengaged, and lifeless. That might be why a growing number of marriages are ending after 25 years or more.
It’s called the “graying of divorce.”
A recent survey from Bowling Green State University showed that prior to 1990 only 1 in 10 people over the age of 50 divorced. But in the years since 1990, that number has grown to 1 in 4.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
