Daly Focus Blog
Jeff and Cheryl Scruggs were married for ten years … the first time.
Their life together started perfectly. They moved to Los Angeles in their mid-twenties and were living the California lifestyle. They were successful at their jobs, they made a lot of money, and they even had an ocean-front home with all of the right stuff to fill it.
But for Cheryl, marriage was empty.
She thought the lack of intimacy between her and Jeff would eventually correct itself.
“Here’s the story of a lovely lady, who was bringing up three very lovely girls…”
Most of you could probably finish that theme song from memory. The Brady Bunch was the quintessential television family of the early 1970’s, largely because of its wholesome, albeit simplistic, portrayal of blended families.
In the world of television sitcoms, problems are cleanly resolved by the end of each 30-minute episode. But let’s face it, rebuilding a family is rarely as simple as Mike and Carol Brady made it appear.
In 1995, employees at the five-story Sampoong department store in Seoul, South Korea, noticed cracks developing on the top floor around one of the support columns. Despite warnings from civil engineers, the store’s owner refused to close the building for repairs.
It was a minor problem, he insisted.
In reality, the crack was merely a symptom of a much larger structural failure. That became evident on June 29 when the entire building collapsed, killing over 500 people and wounding nearly 1,000 more.
If you made a list of all the things in your life you never thought would happen, situations you never could never have imagined yourself being in, what would you write down?
For some of you, picking up the broken pieces of your life and starting over again with a blended family might be at the top of that list.
This new chapter of life may have come about through death or divorce or some other circumstance, but the challenge is the same: how to overcome the difficulties common to blended families and to give this new part of your life its best chance to thrive.
Every now and then our radio broadcast covers a topic that breaks my heart.
This is one of them.
October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month here in the U.S., so we’re gearing today’s and tomorrow’s programs toward creating awareness about domestic violence and offering information and hope to those who may be suffering abuse themselves.
Some of our listeners might be thinking, “Why would Focus be talking about a subject like this on Christian radio?” Well, the sad truth is, domestic violence happens within the Christian community as well, so we need to talk about it openly and honestly.
Back in May, I shared with you the news that the National Institute of Marriage (NIM) was joining Focus on the Family. What made this coming together so exciting was NIM’s specialty is crisis intervention for marriages that are on the brink of divorce.
Through multiple-day intensive marriage retreats for couples who are literally out of options when it comes to salvaging their relationships, the counselors at NIM are able to offer solid, biblical counsel to these couples that help them achieve hope and healing.
Stepfamilies exist for different reasons. Sometimes as a result of marriage after divorce… sometimes because of a marriage after the death of a spouse. Sometimes the stepfamily happens because a baby or child born out-of-wedlock creates a blended family after the marriage takes place.
Whatever the reason, we know this is true: in addition to the issues all families face – the sibling rivalry, economic issues, the occasional spat – stepfamilies often have some added challenges to overcome.
His marriage was dead. It was past acrimony and fighting. Comedian Jeff Allen and his wife, Tami, were at a stage of apathy.
After years of his alcoholism and fits of rage, it got to the point where Tami always had her back to Jeff.
Finally, one night, Jeff and Tami were in bed when he tried to talk with her – except she refused to turn around.
“No, please,” she said.
“What’s the problem?” Jeff inquired.
Mary Hunt was cheating on her husband. Her tryst, though, wasn’t with another man – but it had the power to destroy the marriage just the same.
The secret Mary hid from her husband was about her financial infidelity – to the tune of $100,000 in credit card debt.
Money problems are one of the leading causes of divorce in our nation. Granted, most couples don’t carry a credit burden as deep as Mary and her husband’s.
Earlier this week we aired a broadcast dealing with a difficult and sensitive issue: how can a man and woman who are divorced co-parent their children successfully?
It can be a challenging issue to navigate. We know God’s heart is for marriage and divorce is outside His intent. That’s why we encourage couples in crisis to do everything they can to work out differences through prayer, counseling and community support.
However, the reality remains that sometimes, divorce happens.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
