Daly Focus Blog
Tyler Sexton has been an overcomer since the day he was born. So have his parents, Lisa and Kevin.
When Tyler was born at 28 weeks, doctors immediately placed him in an incubator and rushed him by helicopter to a hospital four hours away. They told Lisa and Kevin that Tyler’s lungs could collapse, and he’d die mid-flight. Tyler survived, but a long road of physical trouble, including 16 surgeries, lay ahead.
At 18 months, Tyler was diagnosed with cerebral palsy.
I can tell I’m getting older. For one thing, the guy staring back at me from the mirror has more wrinkles and grey hair than he used to. For another thing, my relationship with my two boys Trent and Troy is different than it used to be. Years ago, we’d wrestle, and I could pin both of them to the floor at the same time. Fast forward a few years, and I could only wrestle one at a time – and it was a coin flip as to which of us would win.
Dr. John Gottman and his researchers can predict with almost 95-percent accuracy whether a couple’s marriage will succeed or fail. Their predictions are based on how couples fight – not how frequently or even the content of their disagreements – but how couples actually engage in conflict. They discovered four elements to conflict – which Dr. Gottman calls “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” – that are destructive to a relationship:
Criticism
Defensiveness
Contempt
Stonewalling
If the Four Horseman mean certain destruction, how can couples avoid them?
A few years ago, Levi Lusko experienced a midlife crisis that sent him spiraling downward.
A devoted husband, father, pastor, author and speaker, Levi was busy most days from early morning until he went to bed late at night. For nearly two decades, his ambition for more kept his candle burning at both ends. By 2020, Levi had flown a million and a half miles. When the pandemic hit, his activity and his ability to manage his emotions all came to a screeching halt.
“Do I really believe?”
That’s not always such an easy question to answer. We say we believe in all kinds of things – from God and country to values like marriage, family, and justice. But what happens when those beliefs get challenged? Do we stand passively on the sidelines and pretend we believe? Or do we get in the wheelbarrow?
That phrase, “Get in the wheelbarrow,” is a metaphor from the mid-19th century. It sprang up around a man named The Great Blondin.
When I talk to people who believe differently than I do, I often ask myself, “Am I being kind? Or am I just being nice?” There is a difference.
Nice is usually a thin veneer of kindness with nothing of substance underneath. Nice is how you act toward the barista who gets your coffee order right. Or the person waiting patiently next to you in line. Or a family member with whom you’re on good terms.
On Monday, Focus on the Family published a social media post that, to put it bluntly, we got wrong. Most disappointingly, we got it wrong because we confusingly expressed the scriptural truth we have held sacrosanct since the ministry’s founding nearly 50 years ago.
In publishing excerpts from a 2012 “Q & A” feature on homosexuality, we caused many readers to come away with a troubling impression of where we stand on the issue. Worse, we confused them on what the Bible says about the issue.
Popular author and relationship expert Dr. Gary Chapman describes conscience as a five-gallon bucket strapped to our backs. Every time we do wrong against someone, we add a measure of liquid. After a few mistakes, our burden becomes heavier. After a few more, heavier still. Eventually, our conscience becomes so full, so heavy to bear, that the contents splash out in unhelpful ways, on us and everyone around us.
In Acts 24:16, the apostle Paul says of himself: “So I always take pains to have a clear conscience toward both God and man.” The phrase “take pains” can also be translated as “strive,” “train,” or “exercise.” In other words, Paul says, “I discipline myself.” To do what?
Before Greta Eskridge had children, she was a high school teacher. She was confronted by the pervasiveness of pornography when she discovered that one of her ninth-grade male students had a sexually explicit photo in his binder.
Greta asked the student not to bring material like that to her class again, and then she explained how objectifying, disrespectful, and demeaning pornography is to women. She still remembers the look of confusion that came over the student’s face.
Words have power. They express profound truth. Or they strip truth of all meaning. Let me give you just two examples.
The first involves a Washington lobbyist who spoke about the Constitution of the United States to a national audience. She described our founding document as quote “that little piece of paper.” You’d think she was referring to a sticky note on the president’s desk instead of one of the most consequential and enduring documents in history.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
