Daly Focus Blog
How big is your marriage’s joy gap?
Dr. Marcus Warner and Chris Coursey, authors of the book The 4 Habits of Joy-Filled Marriages, describe a “joy gap” as the length of time between moments of joy. If you apply that unit of measurement to your marriage, how long has it been?
Days?
Weeks?
Months?
The joy gap can be especially lengthy if we’re waiting for our circumstances to change, for our spouse to make us joyful, or for God to zap us with joy.
To raise happy, healthy children, remember this: Rules alone won’t work.
Rules only control a child’s outer behavior. To develop a child’s inner character, you have to go deeper. Until children develop an inner motivation to do the right thing, they’ll keep sticking their toe over the line.
Like a friend of mine’s five-year-old daughter. They were playing together in the front yard. “Stay in the grass,” he told her. “Don’t step onto the sidewalk or the driveway.” The little girl looked her dad right in the eye, playfully danced to the edge of the grass … and stuck her big toe across the forbidden line.
In 2019, Focus on the Family hosted an event called Alive from New York. Thousands gathered in Times Square to hear speakers and musicians proclaim the name of Jesus and the sanctity of human life.
Protesters showed up as well. They were a vocal minority … until they were silenced by the star of the event: a baby inside the womb. A holy hush fell over Times Square when we performed a live ultrasound and broadcast the heartbeat over loudspeakers.
Not many people know how to pursue marriage with purpose.
For example, when you ask single men and women what they’re looking for in a spouse, many seem unprepared to answer that basic question. The most common responses generally have to do with physical attraction. And that’s not unimportant.
But couples who want a marriage that stands the test of time rise beyond that initial connection point. They keep deeper character traits top of mind, understanding that they’re in a relationship with a whole person, not just a body.
Author Stephen Arterburn is our guest on our Focus on the Family Broadcast “The Crucial Role of Men Standing for Life.”
What I appreciate most about Steve is his vulnerability. On our program, for example, he’s sharing about the abortion he compelled his girlfriend to have when they were both college students. He also acknowledges that he believed at the time that abortion was an acceptable medical practice.
In the years since, Steve has discovered how woefully uninformed he was.
Shelia Erwin is the mother of filmmaking duo the Erwin Brothers, known for the popular Christian films October Baby, Moms’ Night Out, and I Can Only Imagine. Her sons, Andrew and Jon, were always discovering new interests in junior high school, so Shelia wasn’t surprised when they became passionate about the visual arts.
She couldn’t foresee at the time how her boys’ newest hobby would someday blossom. Still, she and her husband Hank encouraged them however they could.
Wisdom comes with age. So do health concerns.
Turning 50 is a major milestone in a person’s health. Maybe you’ve noticed that regular activities that used to cause no side effects now leave you with stiff joints and muscles. Little aches and pains aside, most of us can live long, healthy lives if we’ll remember a few good, common-sense ideas.
My friend and former colleague Dr. Walt Larimore identifies five habits that can help those over 50 live an average of 10 years longer than those who don’t adopt them.
I wake up every day with a desire to serve the Lord. I want other people to see Christ in me when I’m confronted with challenges. I want them to say, “Wow! I would’ve reacted entirely differently in that situation. What do you have that I don’t, Jim?”
But then someone cuts me off in traffic.
…Or my boys don’t behave the way I’ve told them to a dozen times.
…Or I’m exhausted after a long flight and an unexpected delay complicates my plans.
It’s easy to bless a child. It really is.
Not long ago, I asked my son, Troy, if he remembered the day almost ten years ago when I blessed him while we were out hiking on a camping trip. Somewhere along the trail, we stopped, I placed a hand on his shoulder, told him how important he was to me and his mother, and how much we – and God – loved him. Then I prayed over him.
Christina Bennett begins her testimony like this:
“I could have been a statistic. Just a number. I had an appointment to die. My mother went to a clinic to have me aborted, but God stepped in at the eleventh hour and rescued me. And I’m going to tell you what He did.”
What follows is a remarkable story about how God intervened in Christina’s life and made her an overcomer. Far from being a victim of abortion, she has championed the pro-life cause, particularly in the African American community, which she believes is being targeted by pro-abortion advocates.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
