Daly Focus Blog
By: Ashley Durand
Everyone said marriage would be hard.
But our first year of marriage wasn’t hard in predictable ways.
Sure, there were little adjustments here and there, tiny conflicts like agreeing on how much to budget for groceries or what time to go to bed. But we had a lot of fun together, laughed constantly, and loved each other more every day. We led small group and kids club at church, and felt God’s hand of blessing.
Well-known author and popular guest Dr. Gary Chapman says that if you really want the marriage you’ve always dreamed of, you have to be daring.
It takes courage to ask, “Honey, how can I be a better husband/wife to you? How can I make your life easier?” Those are daring questions because your spouse will give you an answer, and he or she will expect you to respond.
Look at that scenario from a different perspective, however, and you’ll see it as a chance to minister to your spouse’s heart with the love of Christ.
Luis Palau is one of the most well-known evangelists in the world. And yet, for many years, while he stood in front of stadiums of people and witnessed thousands respond to his call to receive Jesus, his own heart was aching for his son, Andrew, who had turned away from God.
Luis and his wife, Patricia, saw him moving in the wrong direction, and they did everything within their power to guide him back. But there came a point, Andrew says, “where I had wandered so far away from God that all they could do was have faith.
Did God design marriage to make us happy?
Before I answer that, let’s define our terms.
On one end of the spectrum is happiness that’s rooted in pleasure-seeking. Happiness of this sort isn’t necessarily bad, but it does have a shelf-life. It’s like eating ice cream – the dessert is tasty, but the pleasure doesn’t last very long.
On the other end of the spectrum is happiness rooted in meaningful activity, purpose, and deeply-held values that endure.
Do the headlines and circumstances of the world sometimes get you down? Do they irritate and frustrate you? From the border debate to the ongoing political wrangling on various other issues, we exasperate easily, don’t we?
My friend Dr. Tim Keller, the former senior pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City, once preached a sermon on “The Christian’s Happiness.” He used Romans 8:28-30 as the basis for his message.
I think his three main takeaway points will encourage anyone regardless of where they find themselves emotionally.
Why are we so easily offended?
That’s even a problem for Christians who believe in the fruit of the Spirit. Why do we get so upset about the guy that cuts us off on the highway? Why are we so easily irritated when something doesn’t go our way, or when we feel like we’re not getting what we deserve? And why do we deserve something in the first place?
There are different levels of anger. Sometimes it’s the result of feeling threatened.
Why do kids misbehave?
Dr. Kevin Leman offers these 3 reasons:
Attention-getting
Power
Revenge
He says the strong-willed child has been given a bad rap. We want our kids to be strong-willed. When the world tells them, “Do everything we do,” we want our son or daughter to know right from wrong and to have the conviction to stand for it.
What you don’t want, Dr. Leman says, is the “powerful child.” They have an agenda.
My dad had a bad habit of breaking his promises. So when I was 11, and our trip to a Dodgers baseball game almost fell through, I thought for sure it would be just one more disappointment in a long line of them.
We were running late that day, and we just barely missed the bus to the stadium. Honestly, I figured my dad would do what he had always done in circumstances like that: offer a weak apology and take us home.
By: Joe Battaglia
Whether we like it or not, all fathers are teachers.
Some are absent.
Some are reluctant.
But children will learn SOMETHING from their dad.
Even if it’s nothing.
The question is what do we want them to learn, and from whom?
I became acutely aware of this scenario in a rather strange way—by shopping with my daughter when she was about 13-14 years old.
While we were at a mall, my daughter asked to go into a very hip, fashionable store for teens to buy a shirt.
Jesus could have judged the woman caught in adultery (John 8:3-11). She was guilty, after all. The crowd knew it. She knew it, too. And according to the strict law of Moses, she deserved death by stoning.
Rocks in hand, the men dragged the woman through the streets, and asked Jesus for her final verdict. Instead of condemning her, Jesus forgave her.
That story from the book of John is helpful for couples whose marriages have been assaulted by the betrayal of adultery.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
