Daly Focus Blog
I have, in my house, a rising Tiger. Our second born, Seth, begins his college career at Clemson this fall. He has always been, and remains, an amazing young man.
He is filled with both passion and compassion, he loves learning, reads voraciously, is strong as a bear and is an outstanding musician. He makes our parental hearts swell with love and pride. Oh, and for the record, he looks like me and is thus incredibly handsome.
If you’re the parent of a middle schooler, I have a suggestion for you: buckle up.
This may be the most tumultuous time in childhood.
It’s like a prism that focuses a remarkable amount of life change into a short time span. Our two boys are smack in the center of their middle school years, so we’re witnessing it firsthand.
The physical, mental, and hormonal changes alone are intense. But many kids also face the added stress of leaving behind elementary school and entering a larger environment with more classes, new friends to meet, and more responsibility to bear.
What’s the worst date you’ve ever had?
Our own Lisa Anderson, who spearheads Boundless, Focus on the Family’s ministry to singles, has had some doozies. One guy showed up to their second date with a full PowerPoint presentation for how their relationship ought to move forward, complete with pivot tables and algorithms.
Experiences like that are just one reason many singles express so much confusion and frustration about the dating process and their hopes for marriage.
Do you have a goal for your marriage?
Hopefully, your answer is a little more inspiring than, “To stay married.”
Sadly, that’s about as enthusiastic as many couples get about their relationship. They haven’t discovered a greater purpose for their lives together. And let’s face it, it’s hard to find happiness with your spouse if life has become an endless string of mundane days.
Wives, in particular, usually feel happier if they know their relationship is growing deeper, more intimate, and more romantic.
Parents of older children often get bombarded with requests to watch the latest movie popular among their friends. But for those moms and dads who are hoping to instill Christian values in their kids, these common requests pose a real dilemma: how can we equip our children to be in the world, but not part of it? How can we teach them to take in entertainment through discerning eyes and not as a “blind consumer”?
One mom found a way.
“Leave the broken, irreversible past in God’s hands, and step out into the invincible future with Him.” – Oswald Chambers
Elisa Morgan will never forget the day she heard a loud crash from somewhere in her house. The noise, she discovered, was a three-shelf hutch that had fallen from the wall, taking her late grandmother’s antique china collection with it. It all lay shattered in pieces on the floor … and there was nothing she could do to fix it.
Some days I feel like a pretty good dad, like I really understand my boys, and I have a good handle on this parenting thing. Then there are the other days …
Years ago, when my oldest son, Trent, was 3 or 4, he would go bananas when I tried to wash his hair in the tub. No matter how gentle I was, he’d cry and say, “Why, Daddy?”
At first, I thought his complaining was normal.
Here at Focus on the Family, we routinely receive heartbreaking messages like this one: “My spouse just told me he or she doesn’t love me, and we shouldn’t stay married. What can I do?”
If your marriage has encountered a similar problem, you may have the same question. The answer, according to counselor and author Dr. David Clarke, is to implement an aggressive strategy of “tough love” as soon as possible.
That means you have to show strength and take decisive action.
Is your home a lighthouse?
The purpose of a lighthouse, remember, is to shine brightly through the darkness to lead people on the open water safely to shore.
It’s no accident that sort of imagery illustrates how the Christian’s life is supposed to be. I’m sure you’ll recall Matthew 5, where Jesus says, “You are the light of the world” and then encourages us to let our “light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in Heaven.”
That means a Christian’s home ought to shine with God’s love, grace, and presence and be inviting to the neighborhood around it.
I’ll bet you remember the moment your life changed.
It may have been in childhood or even when you were an adult. But someone said something to you that was hurtful. That person may not have even meant for their words to sting, but they cut you deep, and that moment changed your entire perception of yourself from that point forward.
For me, it was ninth grade. I was in my high school’s weight room, getting ready for football season.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
