Daly Focus Blog
The maternal instinct in women is soft and nurturing.
It’s also fierce.
The maternal instinct drives women to sacrifice everything for the sake of their families. I saw that kind of tenacity in my own mother. She took care of five children, worked two jobs, and strived to meet everybody’s needs the best she knew how. We didn’t have much in terms of material wealth, but her love for us was rich, and we were happy.
On our Focus on the Family Broadcast “Sharing the Gospel Through Hospitality,” we’re sharing Dr. Rosaria Butterfield’s dramatic conversion testimony.
Rosaria was professor of English and queer theory at Syracuse University in New York and lived proudly as a lesbian, a feminist, and an outspoken advocate for LGBT rights. In 1999, she took leave from her professorship to research a book she intended to write as a rebuke of religion from a lesbian feminist point of view.
I’ve had to overcome a lot. My mom died when I was nine. My stepdad abandoned me and my siblings within hours of her funeral. After that, I spent time in foster care, and a couple of years later, my biological father died of alcoholism.
No doubt you’ve survived some difficulties of your own. Struggle is universal. So are the solutions for overcoming it. Here are four ways to break free from your past:
Accept the fact that your suffering cannot be changed.
Years ago, John, a recent college graduate, asked Dr. Gary Chapman and his wife if he could move into their home for one year and observe their family. John’s family of origin had been toxic, and he wanted to experience firsthand what a healthy marriage and family looked like.
Dr. Chapman’s first reaction was to say no. Was their family healthy? He and Karolyn’s first years of marriage had been characterized by selfishness, hurt, and brokenness.
Today, Peter Mutabazi is an entrepreneur, an international advocate for children, and the founder of Now I Am Known, a corporation that supplies resources that encourage and affirm children.
Peter’s passion for advocacy began in a small village in Uganda on the border of Rwanda. His father was abusive, beat the family, and frequently told Peter that he regretted having him as a son. Peter didn’t even have a name until he was two years old!
Why did you get married?
For your spouse?
Or for yourself?
Be honest. You got married because the relationship made you happy.
Don’t feel too guilty. The rest of us probably did the same thing. We thought life with this person would make our lives better. And while that’s not entirely selfish – God wants us to enjoy our marriage to our spouse, after all – many couples spend their first years of marriage chasing individual interests.
I’m reminded of a story about a hunter who owned an unusual bird dog. While other dogs barked, pointed, and fetched birds, this one walked on water. The hunter was so excited to show off his dog’s remarkable ability that he invited his friend on a hunting trip. Each time they shot a duck, the dog ran across the top of the water and fetched the bird.
For hours, the two men hunted. Yet, the friend never commented about the dog’s unusual ability.
Dating has changed dramatically over the decades, even within the Christian community. It used to be a slower process. Young adults took a deliberate approach to creating healthy relationships and seeking God’s will for marriage.
These days, everything is fast paced, driven by a culture that prioritizes instant gratification. Dating becomes a recreational activity instead of an opportunity to build a meaningful connection that endures across time and struggle.
Authors and married couple Safa and Tovares Grey believe dating is an opportunity for single adults to develop the character they’ll need to be godly partners in marriage.
A friend of mine is an atheist. He says he doesn’t believe in God because he can’t see Him. I say he sees God more than he thinks he does. The evidence is all around us. We just need the eyes to see.
Let me give you a simple, yet profound, example. When my friend’s mother died, he remembers standing alone beside her casket and talking to her – just simple things, like how nice her hair looked and how deeply he loved her.
Do you have goals, dreams, or ambitions you’ve kept hidden? Maybe it’s time to break them free.
Had you been walking by Henry Ford’s Detroit home one summer day in 1896, you might’ve thought he’d lost his mind. There he was, ax in hand, chopping away at the door frame and surrounding brick of his shed. What you actually would have been witnessing was history in the making. Ford had spent seven years building what he called a “Quadricycle.” Today, we call it a car.
Jim Daly is a husband, father and President of Focus on the Family and host of its National Radio Hall of Fame broadcast. His blog, Daly Focus, is full of timely commentary and wisdom designed to help you navigate and understand today’s culture. His latest book is Marriage Done Right.
